| Si j'étais le Messie, je raconterais n’importe quoi,
| If I was the Messiah, I would say anything,
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| N’importe où, n’importe comment,
| Anywhere, anyhow,
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| Et les gens me croiraient,
| And people would believe me,
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| Ils n’ont rien d’autre à faire
| They have nothing else to do
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je mènerais en bateau
| If I was the Messiah, I'd lead the boat
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| N’importe qui, n’importe comment,
| Anyone, anyhow,
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| Et les gens me croiraient,
| And people would believe me,
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| Ils ne connaissent pas les eaux
| They don't know the waters
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je serais pédéraste,
| If I was the Messiah, I'd be a pederast,
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| Avec n’importe qui, n’importe comment,
| With anyone, anyhow,
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| Et les gens me suivraient,
| And people would follow me,
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| Reniflant mon beau derrière
| Sniffing my beautiful behind
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je me ferais voleur,
| If I was the Messiah, I'd be a thief,
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| Avec n’importe qui, n’importe comment,
| With anyone, anyhow,
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| Et les gens se tairaient,
| And people would be silent,
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| N’ayant rien d’autre à faire
| Having nothing else to do
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je construirais un temple,
| If I was the Messiah, I would build a temple,
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| Avec n’importe quoi, n’importe comment,
| With anything, anyhow,
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| Et les gens y viendraient
| And people would come there
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| Pour y montrer leurs airs
| To show their tunes there
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| Si j'étais le Messie, j’aurais un oeil de verre,
| If I was the Messiah, I'd have a glass eye,
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| Pour pouvoir fermer l’autre, pour ne rien voir du tout,
| To be able to close the other, to see nothing at all,
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| Et les gens me plaindraient,
| And people would pity me,
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| Et vanteraient ma misère
| And brag about my misery
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je serais un ivrogne,
| If I was the Messiah, I'd be a drunk,
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| Boirais n’importe quoi, n’importe comment et, hip, n’importe où,
| I'd drink anything, anyhow and, hip, anywhere,
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| Et les gens m’imiteraient,
| And people would imitate me,
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| Croyant toujours bien faire
| Always believing to do well
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je marcherais sur l’eau,
| If I was the Messiah, I would walk on water,
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| N’importe où, n’importe comment,
| Anywhere, anyhow,
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| Et les gens se noieraient,
| And people would drown,
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| Croyant toujours bien faire
| Always believing to do well
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je ferais des miracles,
| If I was the Messiah, I would do miracles,
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| N’importe où, mais pas n’importe comment,
| Anywhere, but not anyhow,
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| Et les gens s'écrieraient
| And people would cry out
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| «Au nom du père»
| "In the name of the Father"
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| How many lies
| How many lies
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| Si j'étais le messie, j’inventerais une crèche,
| If I was the messiah, I would invent a manger,
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| Pas n’importe comment, pas pour n’importe qui,
| Not just any way, not for anyone,
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| Seulement pour les enfants
| Only for children
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| Les enfants grandiront, croyant toujours bien faire
| The children will grow up, always believing to do well
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| Si j'étais le Messie, je me ferais crucifier,
| If I was the Messiah, I would be crucified,
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| Pas par n’importe qui, pas par n’importe quoi,
| Not by anyone, not by anything,
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| Et les gens pleureraient,
| And people would cry,
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| Ne sachant pas trop quoi faire
| Not sure what to do
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| Je ne suis pas Messie, heureusement pour ma mère,
| I am not Messiah, fortunately for my mother,
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| Qui ne pourrait plus vendre sa virginité,
| Who could no longer sell her virginity,
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| Car les gens l’achèteraient,
| Because people would buy it,
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| Croyant toujours bien faire
| Always believing to do well
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| Il y a très longtemps, il y eut un Messie,
| Long ago there was a Messiah,
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| Il est venu d’ailleurs, d’une autre galaxie,
| He came from somewhere else, from another galaxy,
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| Et les gens l’ont tué
| And people killed him
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| Ils avaient cru bien faire
| They thought they were doing well
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