| Ay y’all, this is a brand new dance that’s sweeping the nation
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| This dance ain’t for everybody, just the self-absorbed people
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| It’s called the crybaby, goes a little something like this
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| When you’ve got a crappy show and your ratings are low
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| You do the crybaby, you do the crybaby
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| When your face looks like a ham and you get punched by will.i.am
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| You do the crybaby, you do the crybaby
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| When you say you’re on the trail but you’re really getting tailed
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| You do the crybaby, you do the crybaby
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| When those mothertruckers won’t leave Britney Spears alone
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| You do the crybaby, you do the crybaby
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| It’s always beneficial to cry
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| When you’re in the public eye
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| It’s so fun to watch celebrities suffer
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| So baby turn on the cameras and blubber
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| When the ASPCA won’t let you give your dogs away
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| You do the crybaby, you do the crybaby
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| When you’re tanking the lord for some meaningless award
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| You do the crybaby, you do the crybaby
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| Break it down now
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| Alright now ladies
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| Yeah
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| It’s time for me to show you how to do the crybaby dance
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| And don’t make me call the wambulance
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| Put your hands on your hips
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| Stick out your bottom lip
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| Rub your eyes, stamp your feet
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| Turn and complete
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| Put your hands on your hips
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| Stick out your bottom lip
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| Rub your eyes, stamp your feet
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| Turn and complete
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| Now show your tears to the camera so everyone can see
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| Just how hard it is to be a rich celebrity
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| I’m sorry all you crybabies if I’m being too hard on you
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| 'Cause you know when I’m at home
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| And I watch TV alone
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| I sometimes do the crybaby too
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| Like when Frodo leaves the Shire and he says goodbye to Sam
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| Or that very special Office when Jim married Pam
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| The first time I saw Lost in Translation
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| Or whenever I hear a Morgan Freeman narration
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| When that dude’s wife died in the movie Up
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| Or the first time I saw Two Girls One Cup
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| Or that commercial with Sarah McLachlan and the dogs and cats
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| Wait a minute, turn off the camera,
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| I need a minute |