| You can try to throw away my lyric sheets before I can read 'em
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| Ha! |
| too bad I got em memorized I don’t even need 'em
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| Yeah I still got homophobic rhymes but you can’t get upset
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| Cus that fag Elton John and I once did a duet
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| To my fans, I apologize for ruining your life
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| I’ll get back to writing songs about murdering my wife
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| He spits his lines in perfect time without any rehearsin'
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| Sometimes he rhymes about himself in the third person
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| His rapping is hilarious or completely serious
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| And if you make fun of him then he will get frikkin' furious
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| Cus he can dish it out but he just can’t take it
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| Like a baker who hates cake, but always bakes it
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| Who’s this dude looking at me? |
| He looks just like me
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| He’s clocking me mocking me, I think he wants to fight me
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| Ow, I tried to hit the man but he broke my hand and then he ran
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| Musta been a crazed fan
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| Oh, damn, there he is again
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| I’m not afraid to throw a chair its from IKEA so I don’t care
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| I’m bumping into people on the street
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| I’m wearing Shape Ups on my feet
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| I’m just like you, I’ve been there too
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| I’m rich and famous so I take that back it’s not true
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| It was my decision to do drugs, I did it for fun but now I’m done
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| Now I’ll get back to making puns about Kim Kardashian
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| And her two tons buns of fun, so gargantuan that they block out the Sun
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| I’m the world’s greatest rapper, a fact that’s undisputed
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| But for some reason I act like I am persecuted
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| If you think I’m a turkey well then you can just stuff it
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| I’m the only MC to have a beef with a puppet
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| I could rap about Afghanistan, Iraq or BP
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| But I’d rather make fun of some minor celebrities
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| Here’s a list of people that I’d like to impeach:
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| Patricia Headon, Will Weaton, Ruben Studdard, and Screech
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| But I won’t diss Kanye or Lil Wayne, that ain’t fun
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| They’re both really nice, they ain’t hurt no one
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| But screw Michael J. Fox, cus he shakes when he walks
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| Aren’t you glad that I’m back to get this message across
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| I’m not afraid to get really pissed
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| At all my critics, that hardly exist
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| I’m such whiny baby, I’ll keep complaining
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| I’m rich as hell, my records sell
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| I’m such an ass, but I get a pass
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| People love me cus I can rhyme words really fast |