Lyrics This Song Sucks - Starbomb

This Song Sucks

Yo, Egoraptor!
'Sup, Danny?
This is the last song of what might be the last Starbomb album, which means
we’ve gotta bring it!
A’ight, let’s go through our rejected song ideas that we never used and find a
winner
Hell yeah!
Yo, what about a song where Eggman cooks eggs
That are poisoned and designed to paralyze Sonic’s legs?
Or a rap about butts, called Ass-Ass-in's Creed?
Or Final Fantasy 50: The Really, Really Final Fantasy?
A Smash game where no one fights 'cause they’re all too busy clappin'
Silent Hill’s a game about a hill where nothin' happens
Or the new Chokèmon game that’s now sweeping the nation
About Squirtle trying autoerotic asphyxiation, baby!
What about that thing like, where you’re on Yoshi’s back-
Y’know, you suggest this every album
Hey, just give me a sec!
And you’re falling in a pit, and you have to jump away
And Yoshi-
Falls and dies-
It’s really funny, okay?!
This is usually the part where I sing the chorus out
But we haven’t established what this song is all about!
Then I chime in real quick, for just a second
As the character delivers a line that reminds us of the joke
And I’ll respond with harmonies, isn’t that dope?
Maybe a Resident Evil wherein the T-Virus mutates
Into the D-Virus that makes all the zombies masturbate
Sonic runs and breaks out of the TV like an acrobat
And ends up in the real world where he’s fucked by a housecat
A bathroom where the toilet is a portal instead-
-with another on the ceiling so you’ll poop on your head!
An MMO where you’re a prostitute — World of Whorecraft!
How about Kingdom Farts… pause for laugh?
Bomberman goes through the TSA, and you can guess the rest
Or how about if Kirby eats his foes and actually digests?
Grand Theft Auto but you’re in a neverending traffic jam!
Sonic Boom!
Where’s the joke?
That is the joke!
Oh damn!
This is where the song concept should heighten for effect!
If you think we use that formula a lot, you are correct!
Arin should come back in now, but he’s busy eating lunch!
So I’ll just end the chorus with something funny that rhymes
Sonic runs so fast, that he keeps on hitting things
All his bones start to shatter as he’s flashing, shitting rings
He ends up in the ER, where his legs get amputated
He learns to run on his hands
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever said
A Mortal Kombat game where all the deaths are canon, so there’s only 2 guys
left!
Ooh!
What about if Ganon-
Ugh
-was riding on a Yoshi, and then falls into a pit-
The Splatoon field janitor decides he’s had enough and quits!
Wait, I think I’ve got it!
Lay it on me genius rapper!
What if Mario rode Yoshi and then fell into a-
No!
Here’s when Brian likes when sound effects get introduced
But we used our money on that fart from album two!
To bring this record home, we need one more genius breakthrough
So now enjoy as we Auto-Tune that fart ten times for you!