| There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space
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| And she could easily combine your stupid ass with your face
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| Her name was Samus Aran and she would destroy Metroids
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| When she wasn’t totally pissed, she was extremely annoyed
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| She stood up to every challenge no matter how ever demanding
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| And her courage was amazing and her boobies were outstanding (WHAT?)
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| Uhhh, nothing. |
| I was just saying that you’re brave
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| Um okay, hey look over there! |
| Ha, it’s Kraid!
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| I’m the strongest dragon that you’ve ever seen
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| You’re gonna die, motherfucker, I take up five screens
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| I’m gonna swallow you whole and then you’ll go down easy
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| Then you’ll be digested and converted to feces
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| I’ll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes
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| And your beautiful hair and your well-toned thighs
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| And your pillowy lips and-- wait, you’re not a guy?
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| Is that a problem, you fuck?
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| Um no, prepare to die!
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| Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight
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| She got into a battle stance, that made her butt look super tight
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| And Kraid said
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| No wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake
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| I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked
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| But Samus said
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| What pisses me off most in this world
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| Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I’m a girl
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| So do me a favor and take your cakes and your pies
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| And shove them so far up your ass, that they end up behind your eyes
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| Stop treating me like I’m a sex object
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| Mother Brain’s a woman, but she gets respect
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| Yeah Kraid, you never talk to me that way
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| Oh gosh, I wonder if it is because you are a huge disgusting brain?
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| Get the fuck off my planet, this is your last chance
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| I’m gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants
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| That’s it, you’re all fucking dead
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| What? |
| This room feels stuffy
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| By the way do you like puppies?
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| Here’s a basket of puppies
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| Whoops, killed the puppies |