| A group of legendary warriors
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| They’re world-renowned
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| Overwatch, bitch!
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| Their power’s known all around
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| Pushin' on the payload
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| Is part of their plan
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| From Gibraltar, and then
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| Hanamura, Japan
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| Their power is tested
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| Wherever they go
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| Rockets, bullets
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| You name it, bro
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| They’ve never been stopped
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| Or met their match
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| A mission’s arrived
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| So heroes, dispatch!
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| Hi, can you help me?
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| My car’s broken down
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| The engine is all busted
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| I can’t get my ass around
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| I need some friends to get
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| My vehicle out of the traffic
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| You guys look like the best
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| With all your fancy fuckin' tactics
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| Without hesitation, they
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| Begin the migration
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| Reinhardt pushes from behind
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| Traffic’s redirected as
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| Mei is unaffected
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| By cars honking loudly
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| Combined
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| Bastion transforms into
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| A giant fuckin' turret and
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| Blows all the drivers away
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| Pharah flies up high and
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| Rockets start to fly
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| As the overpass crumblin' okay
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| Holy fuckin' shit
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| That was a little overkill
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| But what do you expect
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| From the best?
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| The phone’s ringing
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| Off the hook
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| For another job to book
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| So let’s see where we end up next
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| Hi, I need assistance
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| I’m a 13-year-old girl
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| If you would help me
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| I would be so happy
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| I would fuckin' twirl
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| Got a wagon filled with lemons
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| And now moving it’s a pain
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| I need your skills or
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| No one’s fuckin' getting lemonade today
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| Boom!
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| Our heroes get on the case
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| Zarya is lifting up the wagon
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| To her fuckin' face
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| Everyone is scramblin'
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| To clear out any space
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| So they can quickly get the payload
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| To the meeting place
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| Lucio plays some music to
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| Calm the girl
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| Junkrat shoots grenades
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| To blow up a squirrel
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| A strangers pulls out his phone
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| To call the cops
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| Then upon him
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| Doomfist «Meteor Drops»
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| People are screamin'
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| Blood is flyin' everywhere
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| Bullets are soarin'
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| And zippin' all through the air
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| It’s a pure bloodbath
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| But the wagon’s delivered
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| Our heroes take their leave
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| As Courtney fuckin' shivered
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| Another mission successful
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| Our heroes always thrive
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| Looky here, another call
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| For a payload’s arrived
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| Hi, can you help me?
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| I’m a very old lady
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| My shitty hip replacement
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| Just ain’t enough to aid me
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| Your gang looks like a big bunch
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| Of sexy hunks of meat
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| Now help these 90-year-old buttcheeks
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| Get across the street
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| Like a lightning bolt
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| Tracer’s on the scene
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| Holds her hand and says
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| «Take all the time you need»
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| With little itty-bitty steps
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| This mission is clean
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| Until it starts to pour
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| Completely unforeseen
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| D.Va flies above
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| And shoots the clouds
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| Bullets rain down
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| Into every house
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| Mei starts a blizzard to
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| Stop the rain
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| But inflicts upon the neighborhood
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| Torturous pain
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| To warm the place
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| Orisa pierces the ground
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| Letting lava leak out
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| Spreading all around
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| Everyone is screaming now
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| It’s a horrible sound
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| So Lucio DJs
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| To drown it out
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| Halfway across the road
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| The old lady falls
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| Zenyatta throws out
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| One of his healing balls
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| She smashes her face
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| But it’s A-OK
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| 'Cause Ana throws
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| A motherfuckin' healing grenade
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| Eventually
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| They end up getting across
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| The old lady’s so grateful
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| She is at a loss
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| Or maybe she’s unconscious
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| We could never know
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| Because onward to their next
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| Mission they go
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| Nope
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| She’s dead
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| Alright
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| Bye |