| Bonjour! |
| Hello!
|
| My name is Glass Joe
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| I’m ze toughest French boxer zat you’re ever gonna know
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| I’ll score a TKO then drink a fine Bordeaux
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| And flatten all my opponents like croissant dough
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| I fight next week for ze champion belt
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| Mr. Sandman is tough, and I might need a little help
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| So I hired Doc, he once trained an elf
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| Named Little Mac so now, I believe in myself!
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| I’m Doc, hi!
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| This bitch is gonna die!
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| His overall record stands at 1 to 99
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| He’s been hit in the head seventy-five too many times
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| Now he wants to fight Sandman?
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| Dear God, WHY?!
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| His head and his ass are 'bout to go through an estrangement
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| I think I’ll start making all the funeral arrangements
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| I have to be responsible and tell him he can’t win
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| Here’s ten bucks
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| Fuck it
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| Let the training begin!
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| Whoa, whoa
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| I’ll be the champion
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| I have the heart of a lion
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| That’s really not gonna be enough
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| I’ve got the skills
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| No, you don’t
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| I’ve got the power
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| Wrong again
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| You’ll never catch me
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| I am like the Eiffel Tower
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| That doesn’t move!
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| Whoa, whoa
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| I’ll be the champion
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| I’m building an Arc de Triomphe
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| That took, like, thirty years to build
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| Got my beret
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| My eau de toilette
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| I’ll break the Sandman like a stale baguette
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| No sweat!
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| Now it’s four weeks later
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| And it’s time for the fight
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| I’m sad I gotta watch a man die tonight
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| Do not worry, Doc
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| Glass Joe is built to last!
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| You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
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| Your weight training diet’s all wine and cheese
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| You’ve got the body of a man with an awful disease
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| Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter
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| And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter
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| Zere’s the bell!
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| Zanks for your help, Doc!
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| Yeah, see you in Hell
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| Zis is my moment, vive la France!
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| All of my training
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| Has led to this chance
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| I benched ten Q-Tips, I ran five feet
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| I did a half-pushup, victory will be sweet!
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| There’s Mr. Sandman, here he comes!
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| But I believe in myself so I have already won!
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| Whoa, whoa
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| I’ll be the Champion
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| I have the heart of--
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| Oh! |
| Ah! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ahh! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow! |
| Ow!
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| Ow!
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| Whoa, whoa
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| I like candy corns
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| Please put them in my donuts
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| Ugh!
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| Yo, you beat the French out of him!
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| I have my…
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| Ugh! |
| Agh! |
| Ough!
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| My favorite color is seven
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| Awgh!
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| No more peanuts for me, stewardess
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| Godzilla is my dad |