Lyrics The Flightless Bird Song - Rhett and Link, Steve Kardynal

The Flightless Bird Song

Here we see the bearded Cardinal
In his native habitat
Welcome to the Walmart parking lot
Coolin' off beneath the shade
Of a '92 Cadillac
Could life get any better?
But there’s a sad truth
Like a flower that won’t blossom
He’ll never do the one thing
That makes being a bird awesome
Unlike his bird brethren
Traversing the sky
The bearded Cardinal
Will never fly
Excuse me
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear
Did you say I can’t fly?
Yeah.
You’re the bearded Cardinal, a flightless bird
Y’know what?
I’m cool with that
In fact, I see it as a positive
I wanna sing about it
I got a big beak
Feathers on fleek
I keep cool in the heat by flapping my vestigial wings
I’m down to Earth
In fact I hate heights
Who needs working wings when you’re this fly?
I regurgitate meals
Into my kids' mouths
I never get sucked into a jet or hit the side of a house
Here comes a shopping cart
At a pretty high speed
If I was a bettin' bird I’d bet the cart’s about to hit me
Ohhhhhhhhh!
It did
Ohhhhhhhhh!
It hurts
Ohhhhhhhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m dead