Song information On this page you can read the lyrics of the song Epic Rap Battle , by - Rhett and Link. Release date: 11.07.2010
Song language: English
Epic Rap Battle |
| Link: First off I wanna tell you I enjoyed the pizza |
| Well it really wasn’t great, but it allowed me to meet-cha |
| I’d like your number |
| But I’m not gonna leave a big tip to get it |
| Rhett: That means he’s cheap and pathetic, and if you date him you’ll regret it |
| Twenty-three percent from me communicates |
| I’m generous, not desperate, and I can calculate |
| Link: Is she supposed to be impressed? |
| Rhett: Well if you want a battle be my guest |
| Link: I’m a computer programmer and a cubicle dweller |
| I disabled Spell Check cause I’m a stellar speller |
| When I write an e-mail that includes an attachment |
| I never hit «send» before I’ve attached it |
| Rhett: Your job is a bore |
| I keep it hard core |
| Selling knives and insurance from door to door |
| You’re reflecting on a water cooler conversation |
| I’m giving an incredible knife demonstration |
| Rhett: May I interest you in some accidental death coverage? |
| Or a hard boiled egg slicer? |
| Link: I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene |
| Rhett: Egg slicer |
| Link: I car pool |
| Cuz I’m environmentally sensitive |
| I pack a snorkel cuz I’m clever and so inventitive |
| Rhett: It’s inventive, inventitive isn’t a word |
| Link: Yeah I just inventited it, you just got served |
| Rhett: Well when I car pool, I take a group of third graders |
| On my way to work I teach them multiplication tables |
| See I’m a role model, an example to the youth |
| Link: Then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two? |
| Link: At the gym people line up just to give me a spot |
| All eyes on me when I’m poppin' a squat |
| My career Plan B is to teach P. E |
| The model on the machine is based on me |
| Rhett: I’ve mastered the art of mental manipulation |
| Working every muscle group through meditation |
| This is me working out my triceps |
| Pick up my DVD called «Mind Reps.» |
| Link: My sense of style, is sweet like syrup |
| It’s not uncommon for people to think I’m from Europe |
| Rhett: I don’t follow the trends, I’m a style pioneer |
| See this turtleneck with a necklace? |
| You’ll be wearing this next year |
| Rhett: Is that all you got? |
| Link: Nope |
| Link: I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do |
| If something were to go wrong I’d just blame it on you |
| Rhett: I’m quick-witted, I always know just what to say |
| Link: Then say something clever |
| Rhett: Uh, okay |
| Link: I was offered a record deal while singin' at a karaoke bar |
| But I turned it down and became the president’s Karaoke Czar |
| Rhett: I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net |
| And donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet |
| Link: I gave the Heimlich to a horse choking on beef jerky |
| Two hours later he won the Kentucky Derby |
| Rhett: I’m allergic to nothing |
| Link: I’m allergic to weakness |
| Rhett: I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses |
| Link: I can drive a stick shift |
| Rhett: Well I can golf |
| Link: Well I can make it look like my thumb is coming off |
| Rhett: I invented the Half Nelson |
| Link: I invented the Full Nelson! |
| Rhett: I’ve got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin |
| Link: My uncle is a lawyer! |
| Rhett: I roll my own sushi! |
| Link: I use the metric system exclusively! |
| Rhett: I know Morse code! |
| Link: Well I can speak it: |
| Rhett: You just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized |
| Link: Exactly |