Lyrics The Craigslist Couch Song - Rhett and Link, Bart Baker

The Craigslist Couch Song

Mr. Fly has been compromised
(Mr. Fly is our couch, we named it that)
A rat has taken up residence inside
(It's a long story)
Where does one turn
When one needs
A new place to sit
Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think
Craigslist!
Beatrice has been compromised
(Beatrice is my couch, I named her that…)
Now it’s red
Though it once was white
(I have chronic nosebleeds.)
How in the world
Would one get rid of this?
Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think
Craigslist!
I’m posting an ad
We’re replying to an ad
On Craigslist!
It looks like a real red couch!
Look at this real red couch
On Craigslist!
(We gotta snag this couch, man
I’m gonna call him)
Boop, boop, boop, boop
Beedee boop boop boop
Boop
Riiiing, riiiing, riii —
Hello…
(Uh, hello, um, I’m calling)
You calling about a couch?
(Yeah, I am…)
I knew it, I could smell you from here
(Uh, okay well um, I just — I’m interested in it)
Just come along then, bring your roommate and come on by
I’m here waiting for you, boys
You can’t see me, can you?
(No)
Okay good, keep it that way until you get here
(Come right now?)
You better get here real quick
I gotta bathe my mother
Goodbye
We’re buying a sofa
Yeah that’s what we’re gonna do
But I’m pretty sure we’re buying it
From a sketchy, sketchy, sketchy, sketchy, sketchy dude
(Here we are, we’re at the front door
Should I knock or should I ring the -)
Ring the doorbell
(Okay…
Ding dong
Ding dong
Ding dong ding dong)
Hey, hey Phillip
(Uh, I’m not Phillip)
You smell different when you’re awake…
You got a real nice forehead…
(Thanks… I mean, I usually cover it up, but)
Well let me ask you a question
I lost my tangerine potato smoothie
Can I check y’all’s hairs for it?
We’re not buying a sofa
That’s not what we’re gonna do
Cause he’s most definitely
The most sketchy, sketchy, sketchy, sketchiest of dudes!
(Let's get out of here…)
Dolphins are the best food