Lyrics I Steal Pets - Rachel Bloom

I Steal Pets

Ohhhh
Yeaaaaah
School is really boring
Can’t wait for the bell to ring
‘Cause tonight I’m hanging with all of my friends!
Gonna party through the night-
Karaoke, pillow fights
The music’s loud, the lights are bright
It never ends
I have so many friends!
‘Cause I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the
popular people
I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed
Yeah!
I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the
popular people
I steal pets from the popular people
And lock them in my shed
At school, life can be such a drag
Whitney Jones called me a fag
But her cat ate salmon out of my hand!
I smiled at Michael in the halls
Then he spread rumors I have balls
But I taught his dog to hug on command!
I have so many friends!
Right, dog?!
‘Cause I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the
popular people
I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed
Yeah!
I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the
popular people
I steal pets from the popular people
And paint their nails red- take it Cuddles!
Bark bark bark bark bark yeah!
Bark bark bark bark bark yeah!
Bark bark bark bark bark yeah!
Rawrrrrrrr
It’s the seventh grade dance in the shed tonight
And I’m the life of it all
Cats and dogs all groovin' with me
We’re havin' such a ball
I start slow dancing with Greg Mendelsson’s terrier mix
He’s wearing a suit and he has Greg’s eyes
Suddenly
We kiss!
‘Cause I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the
popular people
I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed
Yeah!
I steal pets from the popular people and then dress the pets up like the
popular people
I steal pets from the popular people
My parents both are dead
Boo!
I steal pets from the popular people
(Pets aren’t yours, pets are mine)
Then dress them up like the popular people
(Pets aren’t yours, pets are mine)
Yeah I steal pets from the popular people
(Pets aren’t yours, pets are mine)
And dress them up like the popular people
All of them are mine!
I steal pets, I steal pets, lock them in my shed
I steal peeeeeeeeeeetttttss
Lock them in my shed