Lyrics The Math of Love Triangles - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Rachel Bloom

The Math of Love Triangles

What’s a girl to do when she’s stuck between men
It’s like she’s a Barbie with two perfect Kens
But wait, it just occurred to me
Maybe I can solve this with geometry
Yes, smarts can help this sitchywation untangle
So professors: teach me
The math of love triangles
(spoken)
Yay, time for book facts!
A triangle is a polygon
With three edges and three vertices
Take the base times the height, cut that in half
To find the area of the surfaces
Uh-huh, I wasn’t really listening, but I can see
The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me!
The math of love triangles
Isn’t hard to learn
You’re not taking in what we’re saying
We’re a little bit concerned
Yes, the math of love triangles
Is as simple as can be
Whichever Tom or Dick I might pick
The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me!
Actually a triangle has multiple centers
This triangle’s scalene
That’s astute
So I need to decide which man’s more acute
Here’s Pythagoras' Theorem
Will this help me choose?
If not I’ll be swinging from a hypote-noose
Let’s take a look at what this line bisects
Is that spelled B-I-S-E-X?
Those are good puns but please pay attention
Oh no, professors, am I facing suspension?
Whee, a swing!
It’s literal suspension!
The math of love triangles
Isn’t hard to learn
We’re starting to suspect
You don’t sincerely want to know about triangles
Yes, the math of love triangles
Is as simple as can be
I need to choose between men, but until then
The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me
Is this a triangle?
No, that’s a shoe
Is this a triangle?
No, that’s you
So I’m a triangle?
What?
No
One, two, three, six, eight, three, go!
You don’t seem to know how to count
We are sincerely worried about you
Catch me!
You’re ruining the number!
This angle’s right
Which angle’s right?
No, not right like correct
Ooh, are you erect?
No, 90 degrees
That’s really erect!
The math of love triangles
Is super duper fun
We’re tired of all your tangents
That’s also a triangle pun
Ooh, thanks for teaching me man math!
You all deserve a kiss
Lady, we’re all gay
We get nothing out of this
Neither man will notice
My learning disability
'Cause the center of the triangle
Is lil' old
Sexy little baby
Me!