| The smell of water, kids screaming with joy
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| I’ve hated crap like that since I was a boy
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| While everyone was laughing and having so much fun
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| I would mutter «This sucks"till the day was done
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| I detested most stuff and I still do
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| You see, I hate everything but you
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| I hate the feeling of the sun when it hits my skin
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| I don’t like bands with a guy on mandolin
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| I hate when people post their pictures with the hashtag «mood»
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| I hate when people call blueberries a superfood
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| I hate when someone says, «Oooh, it’s magic hour!»
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| Or when people actually stop and smell a flower
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| I hate white women who call their engagement rings «bling»
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| Oh yes, I hate everything
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| But you
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| More examples!
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| I hate guys who read magazines devoted to golf
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| I hate Frisbee golf, and when people call Frisbee golf «frolf»
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| I hate when people ask me if I’d ever get a tattoo
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| I hate combination conditioner and shampoo
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| I hate doing The Wave at a baseball game
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| I hate couples with a cutesy couple name
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| I hate when someone says a joke and someone else says, «Zing!»
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| Oh yes, I hate everything
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| But you
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| 'Cause when I look in your eyes and I see you smile
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| When you laugh at yourself and we talk for a while
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| Just for a moment I forget
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| How much I hate it when people say, «Gotta jet!»
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| Even more examples!
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| I hate it when people say they’re going «off the grid»
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| Or when someone calls their baseball cap their «lid»
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| I hate models who just happen to date quarterbacks
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| I hate grown men who always «e Caddyshack
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| I hate the phrase «Love conquers all,"and I hate that it’s true
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| 'Cause I want to not hate things when I’m with you
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| You love so many things and you have so much fun
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| It makes me wish my hating days were done
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| And there’s one thing I want you to know:
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| I’ll always hate guys who name their cars |