| Mine damer og herrer
| Ladies and gentlemen
|
| Isbjørne og ispiger
| Polar bears and ice girls
|
| I kender alle sammen spillet
| You all know the game
|
| Sørg for at ha' noget i jeres glas
| Make sure you have something in your glass
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| Sørg for at ha' rigeligt af det
| Make sure you have plenty of it
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| Lyt godt efter
| Listen carefully
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| Så går vi igang
| Then we start
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| Jeg har aldrig levet livet i den hurtig' bane
| I have never lived life in that fast 'path
|
| Og delt en J med nogen midt i corona-dagene
| And shared a J with someone in the middle of the corona days
|
| Sagt, jeg var syg, når jeg burde træne
| That said, I was sick when I should be training
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| For at ta' på druk til jeg lugted' som en posedame (For satan)
| To get 'drunk until I smelled' like a bag lady (For satan)
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| Jeg har aldrig været anholdt, sagt jeg laved' stand-up
| I've never been arrested, said I laved 'stand-up
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| Eller haft det sjovt med at trampe på de andre ungers sandslot
| Or had fun trampling on the other kids' sand castles
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| Jeg har aldrig været til koncert for at se metalrock
| I've never been to a concert to see metal rock
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| Og knockoutet en pige på nitten, fordi man var for vild i pitten
| And knocked out a girl at nineteen because one was too wild in the pit
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| Jeg har aldrig redt seng for mit barn
| I have never made a bed for my child
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| Lagt ham og glemt at tænde for vores babyalarm
| Laid him down and forgot to turn on our baby monitor
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| For at se gyserfilm i stuen på max volume helt alen'
| To watch horror movies in the living room at max volume completely alone '
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| Så han kom ind under den mest traumatiserende scen'
| So he came under the most traumatic scene '
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| Jeg har aldrig kysset en pige helt blind af booze
| I've never kissed a girl completely blind by booze
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| Og gået en tur på det lille hus
| And gone for a walk on the little house
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| Se de hedeste blikke bli’e til «gider du slippe?»
| See the hottest glances turn into "can you let go?"
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| Da jeg kom tilbage og ved en fejl prøved' at kysse hendes veninde
| When I came back and by mistake tried 'to kiss her friend
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| Jeg har aldrig haft en pistol op' i mit fjæs
| I've never had a gun up 'in my face
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| Jeg har aldrig slået en kæmpe prut under et blæs
| I'll never hit a giant fart under a breeze
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| Jeg har aldrig Facebook’et og Googlet en eks
| I never have Facebook and Google an ex
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| Efter forholdet slutted' lidt grotesk (Jeg sagde)
| After the relationship slutted 'a little grotesque (I said)
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| Jeg har aldrig droppet job og skole for at fest'
| I've never dropped out of work and school to party '
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| Jeg har aldrig følt, jeg havde brug for en fest
| I never felt like I needed a party
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| Jeg har aldrig flippet ud og truet nogen med tæsk
| I have never flipped out and threatened anyone with beatings
|
| Fordi de sagde, min polo ikk' var fresh (Jeg sagde)
| Because they said my polo was not fresh (I said)
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| Jeg har aldrig købt eller solgt røg
| I have never bought or sold smoke
|
| Angrebet en buffet, til jeg var top sløj (Gi' mig, gi' mig, gi' mig)
| Attacked a buffet until I was top sluggish (Give me, give me, give me)
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| Fået og givet et blåt øje
| Got and given a blue eye
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| Eller gjort mig fortjent til navnet fuckboi
| Or made me deserve the name fuckboi
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| Jeg har aldrig produceret og kastet molotovs
| I have never produced and cast molotovs
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| Og taget på festival kun med ét par boxershorts
| And taken to the festival with only one pair of boxer shorts
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| Jeg har aldrig ghostet nogen, fået klager fra underboen
| I have never ghosted anyone, received complaints from the underboen
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| Eller forsøgt at få en hund til at gi' slip på et brugt kondom
| Or trying to get a dog to let go of a used condom
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| Jeg har aldrig diskuteret med typer på nettet
| I have never discussed with types online
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| Uden at ha' min ryg dækket
| Without having my back covered
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| Og langsomt indset, min menings måske var en fjollet ting
| And slowly realized, my opinion might have been a silly thing
|
| Men følt', det var for sent at ændre holdning
| But felt ', it was too late to change attitude
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| Jeg har aldrig udsendt en single på diverse tjenester
| I have never posted a single on various services
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| Og tjekket tal på Spotify hel' dagen efter
| And checked numbers on Spotify the whole day after
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| Musiker' spiller smart, som om de' verdensmestre (Yeah)
| Musicians 'play smart, as if they' world champions (Yeah)
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| I virkeligheden vil de bar' lav' noget, alle elsker
| In fact, they want to 'make' something that everyone loves
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| Jeg har aldrig haft en pistol op' i mit fjæs
| I've never had a gun up 'in my face
|
| Jeg har aldrig slået en kæmpe prut under et blæs
| I'll never hit a giant fart under a breeze
|
| Jeg har aldrig Facebook’et og Googlet en eks
| I never have Facebook and Google an ex
|
| Efter forholdet slutted' lidt grotesk (Jeg sagde)
| After the relationship slutted 'a little grotesque (I said)
|
| Jeg har aldrig droppet job og skole for at fest'
| I've never dropped out of work and school to party '
|
| Jeg har aldrig følt, jeg havde brug for en fest
| I never felt like I needed a party
|
| Jeg har aldrig flippet ud og truet nogen med tæsk
| I have never flipped out and threatened anyone with beatings
|
| Fordi de sagde, min polo ikk' var fresh (Jeg sagde) | Because they said my polo was not fresh (I said) |