| It’s your birthday today,
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| What does that mean I guess I’ll try to explain,
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| That twenty-one years ago on this day,
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| It was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face.
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| And nine months before that magical day,
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| Your Dad probably took your Mom on a date,
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| And they were having a good time,
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| They were dancing and drinking wine.
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| And when they got home they were horny as hell,
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| And your Dad threw your Mom down on the bed,
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| And he tore her panties off,
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| And his penis was hard as a rock.
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| And then your Mom really wanted to give your Dad head,
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| But your Dad also wanted to give your Mom head,
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| So they formed a sixty-nine,
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| And your Mom came at least three times.
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| And then your Dad was so excited to get inside your Mom,
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| That he forgot to put a condom on,
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| And when he realized his mistake,
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| He had ejaculated and it was too late.
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| And then you Mom got pregnant,
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| And your Dad started crying,
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| He wanted your Mom to get an abortion,
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| But your Mom wanted a child.
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| And nine months later you were born.
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| And then five months later your parents got a divorce. |