| It’s Sunday afternoon
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| And there a few things that I have to do
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| And I’m gonna do 'em and I’m gonna do 'em
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| First up, I gotta tidy up
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| My place is getting messy
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| Haven’t cleaned it in a month
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| I may be having friends over tomorrow night
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| It’s not confirmed but just in case
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| I’d like my place to look nice
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| Then I’ll go out to the grocery store
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| And get some more dish soap
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| I ran out a week ago
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| And I’ve been mixing it with water
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| Just to make it last a little longer
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| But now there’s really nothing left
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| Then I’ll stop by at my parents' to say hi
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| And maybe have a cup of coffee and a piece of pie
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| And I’ll ask them how their week was…
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| «How was your week?»
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| And they’ll tell me how their week was…
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| «Pretty good.»
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| Then I’ll head down to the mall
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| Pick up some black socks
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| I don’t really need them
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| But I heard that they were half off
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| You can never have too many socks you know
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| So that you can always throw away the ones with holes
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| Next up, take my dog out for a walk
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| He needs the exercise and at the same time I talk
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| To the other people walking their dogs…
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| «Hello»
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| I usually ask them questions about their dogs
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| «How old is he?»
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| Then I have to return this DVD of pornography
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| That my friend rented
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| I swear to God that it wasn’t me…
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| «It's not mine, I swear.»
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| Alright fine, but it was the first time
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| I am not the kind of guy that watches porn all the time…
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| Alright fine I watch porn all the time
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| I only have one thing left to do
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| And I’m not gonna do it in front of you
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| So I’m gonna end the song like this
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| As I warm up my wrist…
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| «Dammit, I forgot to buy kleenex.» |