Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Listening to My Penis, artist - Jon LaJoie. Album song I Kill People, in the genre Рэп и хип-хоп
Date of issue: 26.12.2010
Age restrictions: 18+
Record label: Normal Guy
Song language: English
Listening to My Penis |
I have to stop listening to my penis |
Listening to my penis |
I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis |
I should be studying and working hard |
My future depends on this, this is bizarre |
Why am I standing in this noisy club |
Where people are «Hey, what the fuck» |
This doesn’t make sense, I hate this place |
12 dollar drinks and a shitty DJ |
Obnoxious douchebags and easy girls |
Oh yeah, that’s why I’m here, the easy girls |
I can’t believe that it has come to this |
Doing all this just to cum is ridiculous |
I know I sound sexist, but I’m a feminist |
But the problem is my dick is an idiot |
When it comes to arguments, he always wins |
Rationality can not compete with orgasms |
I lost my train of thought, this girl’s so hot |
Oh here I go again, I have to stop |
Listening to my penis |
Listening to my penis |
I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis |
I hate this girl, why am I talking to her? |
She’s a horrible person but my mind’s a blur |
'Cause she’s wearing a skirt and a push-up bra |
God damn her in that push-up bra |
My mind keeps telling me to walk away |
«Jon, just go home and masturbate |
Don’t waste your money and your time |
With this really dissing girl |
That you don’t even like» |
But my dick is like «Hey! |
I’m here to stay! |
You’re gonna do everything that I say! |
First get her drunk |
It will be easier. |
And if she wants to dance |
Then fucking dance with her» |
But I hate this music and I hate dancing |
And there’s no way I can afford all these drinks |
«Hey! |
Do what you have to do to get me inside! |
You know very well you won’t win this fight» |
So five minutes later I’m on the dance floor |
Dancing to Kesha and I hate that hoe |
And I hate myself and I hate my cock |
It’s hard as a rock and I have to stop |
Listening to my penis |
Listening to my penis |
I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis |
Stumble out of the bar, it’s 2 in the morning |
Dead on the inside but still horny |
So I try to get this girl back to her place |
But she says she’s hungry so I have to wait |
Now I’m in a diner, it’s almost 3 |
She’s talking about her captive reality tv |
I really should just go home and go to sleep |
But the goddamn cleavage is staring right at me |
And I just wanna spend a little time in there |
Which reminds me of a flow by Voltaire |
Anything too stupid to be spoken is sung |
And I have been singing a lot since I have begun |
Listening to my penis |
Listening to my penis |
I swear I would be a genius ff I stopped listening to my penis |
So I’m back at her place 4 AM, finally play time begins |
All my hard work is about to pay off |
But all of a sudden there is a knock on her door |
She starts to freak out |
She tells me she thought her boyfriend was out of town |
He kicks the door down, I jump out the window |
I didn’t even have the time to grab my clothes |
So I’m running like a motherfucker down the street |
Fully erect and still horny |
I finally give in, this has to stop |
So I hide in some bushes and I start to jerk off |
I’m almost done when I see flashing lights |
A squad car appears right out of the night |
I try to run and that’s when I cum |
Surrounded by cops at the break of dawn |
See, this is what happens when you listen to your dick |
You become an irrational insane prick |
Now I’m sitting the cell, ashamed and naked |
How the fuck am I gonna explain this to my wife and kid? |
Listening to my penis |
Listening to my penis |
I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis |