| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| If you don’t believe me, well you should believe me
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| 'Cause this is the best Christmas song, so listen to it now
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| Christmas is my favorite Christmastime of the year
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| Bells are jiggling and the angels are making Jesus
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| It’s a silent night except for my neighbor’s washing machine
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| It’s very loud; |
| that’s why I’m wearing my second-favorite earmuffs
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| Santa Claus is coming, so you better be naughty or nice
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| He has a beard so you can’t even see his neck
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| He flies around with horses that have branches on their ears
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| 'Cause there are no earmuffs in the North Pole; |
| there are only trees
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| He brings presents to the kids, but he doesn’t wear mittens
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| Probably because they make his hands very itchy
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| Leave Santa milk and cookies so he can have a snack
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| It’ll be easy for him to pick them up 'cause he won’t have mittens on his hands
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| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| Other Christmas songs don’t even talk about Christmas stuff
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| But this is the best Christmas song, so keep listening to it now
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| Santa comes in from the chimney, so don’t block it with a mattress
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| And if you don’t have a chimney, make one out of a mattress
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| Santa, what is the present you’re gonna put in my tree this year?
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| I hope it’s not the shoes that I already have
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| I already have those shoes, so that’s not a very good present
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| A better present would be to make my family still alive
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| Or a bicycle; |
| that would be good, too
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| Also, can you move your beard? |
| I want to see what your neck looks like
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| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| Mittens aren’t even a super important thing
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| But this is the best Christmas song, so keep listening to it now
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| Everybody do the Christmas arms
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| Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, arms, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, arms
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| Everybody do the Christmas face
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| Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, face, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, face
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| Everybody do the Christmas talking
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| A-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra, talking, ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra, talking
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| Everybody don’t put mittens on
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| No mittens, no mittens, no mittens, no
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| Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I tricked you to not putting mittens on
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| Now your hands are cold; |
| that was my Christmas trick
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| Another trick I like to do is I give people chocolate
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| And I’d say «Happy Easter,"and they’d say «What? It’s not even Easter!»
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| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| This is the best Christmas song that ever existed
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| Maybe Santa’s neck is a different color or something
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| But this is the best Christmas song, and now it’s finished |