Translation of the song lyrics Daca eram... - Cheloo

Daca eram... (original)

Rizi ca flegma la TBC
Si ca ciorba la lautarul pe moarte
Da… daaa…
Hai cu mata
Daca eram politist nu-mi asumam nici un risc
Infractorii cotizau la mine ca la fisc
Daca eram pompier ardea-i ca sobolanu-n casa
Si tu si ma-ta si zdreanta ta libidinoasa
Daca eram ginecolog cu sticla-n bot te consultam, de frica
E sanatos sa dai la buci, in gereral, nu strica
Daca eram popa eram periculos
Frecam enoriasele matol si sus si jos
Daca eram chirurg uitam in tine
Cesul meu cu cuc, patentul si-un cutit de piine
Daca eram un posesor de diamante, frate
Faceam o geamgerie si taiam doar geamuri sparte
Daca eram de bani gata, nu mai eram in viata
Va zimbeam expus la morga conservat in gheata
Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate
Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate
Astept oferte si remuneratie
Momentan sint fara ocupatie
Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate
Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate
Astept oferte si remuneratie
Momentan sint fara ocupatie
Daca eram un canibal, iar tu erai doar o urita
Te luam la pula-n tufa, baga-ne-am pula-n ea de supa
Daca eram postas fugeam la dealer in oras
Cind tu mureai de foame, eu fumam iarba si hash
Daca eram gropar te ingropam, normal, odata
Apoi te profanam preluind bijuteria preferata
Daca eram farmacist si cumparai calmante
Te-nbirligam sa bagi in tine anabolizante
Daca eram vidanjor teleportam cicat cu presiune
Calamitind, eventual, intreaga lume
Daca eram ospatar si te prindeam la masa, in cicat
La felul doi serveai, stilat, flegme separat
Daca eram sofer te-aveam ca victima-n cazier
Baga-mi-ai pula-n mata, m-ai fi lasat somer
Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate
Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate
Astept oferte si remuneratie
Momentan sint fara ocupatie
Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate
Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate
Astept oferte si remuneratie
Momentan sint fara ocupatie
Daca eram un hot, sa fiu cinstit
Eram rapid si te lasam in pula goala fara sa simti nimic
Daca eram aviator si ramineam fara motor
Iti luam din zbor parasuta, pula mea, doar n-o sa mor
Daca eram invatator la 1−4, saracu
Copilul tau fuma si bea de-i sarea capu
Daca eram navigator plecam pe mari fara onor
Si ma-ntorceam blindat de bani fara vapor
Daca eram labar ereditar munceam la CNA
Si ma sinucideam cu ritual pe piesa asta
Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate
Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate
Astept oferte si remuneratie
Momentan sint fara ocupatie
Sint atitea meserii frumoase si trebuie incercate
Aplauze, va rog, sint omul bun la toate
Astept oferte si remuneratie
Momentan sint fara ocupatie

Daca eram... (translation)

You laugh like phlegm at TB
And like a dead fiddler's soup
Da… daaa
Come on, mate
If I was a cop, I wouldn't take any risks
Criminals paid me as tax
If I was a firefighter, I would burn them like a rat in the house
And you and me and your lustful rag
If I was a gynecologist with a bottle in my mouth, I would consult you out of fear
It's healthy to break into pieces, in general, it doesn't hurt
If I was a priest, I would be dangerous
We rub the matol parishioners both up and down
If I were a surgeon, I'd look at you
My cuckoo's nest, the patent and a bread knife
If I were a diamond owner, brother
I made a glass and cut only broken windows
If I had money ready, I wouldn't be alive
I was smiling at you exposed to the morgue preserved in the ice
There are so many beautiful trades to try
Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything
I am waiting for offers and remuneration
I am currently unemployed
There are so many beautiful trades to try
Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything
I am waiting for offers and remuneration
I am currently unemployed
If I were a cannibal, and you were just ugly
We'll fuck you in the bush, we'll fuck you in the soup
If I was posted, I would run to the dealer in town
When you were starving, I smoked weed and hash
If I was a gravedigger, I would bury you, normally, once
Then we desecrate you by taking your favorite jewelry
If I was a pharmacist and you bought painkillers
We urge you to take anabolic steroids
If I was a vacuum cleaner, I would teleport with pressure
Eventually calamitizing the whole world
If I was a waiter and I caught you at the table, in a hurry
In two ways you served, styled, phlegm separately
If I were a driver, I'd have you as a victim in the criminal record
You'd put my dick in the mat, you'd have left me unemployed
There are so many beautiful trades to try
Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything
I am waiting for offers and remuneration
I am currently unemployed
There are so many beautiful trades to try
Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything
I am waiting for offers and remuneration
I am currently unemployed
If I were a thief, let me be honest
I was fast and I leave you naked without feeling anything
If I were an aviator and I was left without an engine
We're taking your parachute off, my dick, I'm just not going to die
If I was a teacher at 1-4, poor thing
Your child smokes and drinks salt from his head
If I was a navigator I would go to sea without honor
And I was returning armored with money without a ship
If I was a hereditary worker, I would work at CNA
And I was committing suicide with ritual on this song
There are so many beautiful trades to try
Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything
I am waiting for offers and remuneration
I am currently unemployed
There are so many beautiful trades to try
Applause, please, I'm a good man at everything
I am waiting for offers and remuneration
I am currently unemployed