| Welcome to Vault 68 —
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| A place that could use a woman’s touch!
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| One lady plus a thousand men to play with
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| But it seems I may have played with them too much!
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| Please save me from Vault 43 —
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| A panther’s been put here by mistake!
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| It’s wild and it’s vicious, and thinks I smell delicious
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| Good thing Vault-Tec's unlikely to break!
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| So seal the door
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| And stay inside!
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| 'Til hope’s no more
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| And all your dreams have died
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| Yes, life in Vaults is quite a curse
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| But Vault-Tec tells us all
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| The fallout’s surely worse!
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| Greetings, my Vault Dweller friends
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| I’m King and commander of this Vault
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| You may say I’m just a lonely psycho
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| But if I kill you, it’s all the puppet’s fault!
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| I’m Gary, from Vault 108
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| That’s Gary, also Gary, they’re my clones
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| There used to be non-Garys
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| But things got a little hairy
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| Now I’m stuck here with these Garys, all alone
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| So seal the door
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| And lock it tight
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| There’s ghouls galore
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| And ghastly things that bite!
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| We’re safe from all
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| Nuclear assault
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| So just surrender all your aspirations
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| And embrace exasperation
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| With your newfound life…
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| Inside… a…
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| Vault!
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| (And the fallout’s surely worse!) |