Lyrics Hello Parody - Bart Baker

Hello Parody

Hello, help me
I have no service, I shouldn’t have switched to AT&T
I cannot even tweet
My entire world is crashing down, I feel like I’m dying
Hello, can you hear me?
Adele calm down use the landline!
You are such a drama queen
No I canceled that last week
I’m havin' a panic attack!
Just try outside, stop crying
This entire song is, one giant first world problem rant
Hello, oh God, no, why!
I still have zero bars outside
I’m so screwed, my life is crumbling before my eyes
Wait, I know, I’ll go back in, and connect with Wi-Fi
Oh no, I’m locked outside!
I can’t fucking believe this, why?
Please come to the door and let me back in the home
It’s fifty degrees and all I have is this massive coat I’m so cold
Thank God!
A payphone!
In the middle of the woods, makes perfect sense, normal totally
Come on, pick it up
I can’t believe I’m locked out of the house and you’re not answering
It’s been an hour since my last tweet
My fans must think I’m dead
Help me, I cannot get online!
If I do not say hello I
Will lose my following, they will forget about me
Wait, hold up!
I have a bar now I can tweet
Hello, I’m still alive!
I have bad service, locked outside
She can’t get in her house and her service is bad
Oh God poor Adele, her life is in shambles it’s so sad
It’s the worst day of my life
And now my fucking phone just died!
Everything’s gone wrong, my world’s falling apart
I might as well just give up and shove this knife in my heart
Goodbye world!
What are you doing?
You know this is a push door, right?
Oh, and by the way, I ate the last slice of pizza
Now I’m gonna starve and die!
Oh wait, that’s it?
You’re way too dramatic.
We’re breaking up