| Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
|
| No problem.
|
| So you’re in charge around here, is that fair to say?
|
| Absolutely, I’m the boss.
|
| OK, so take us through a day in the life of «The Boss».
|
| Well the first thing I do is
|
| Talk to corporate (like a boss)
|
| Approve memos (like a boss)
|
| Lead a workshop (like a boss)
|
| Remember birthdays (like a boss)
|
| Direct work-flow (like a boss)
|
| My own bathroom (like a boss)
|
| Micro-manage (like a boss)
|
| Promote synergy (like a boss)
|
| Hit on Deborah (like a boss)
|
| Get rejected (like a boss)
|
| Swallow sadness (like a boss)
|
| Send some faxes (like a boss)
|
| Call a sex line (like a boss)
|
| Cry deeply (like a boss)
|
| Demand a refund (like a boss)
|
| Eat a bagel (like a boss)
|
| Harassment lawsuit (like a boss)
|
| No promotion (like a boss)
|
| 5th of vodka (like a boss)
|
| Shit on Deborah’s desk (like a boss)
|
| Buy a gun (like a boss)
|
| In my mouth (like a boss)
|
| Oh fuck me, I can’t fucking do it, shit!
|
| Pussy out (like a boss)
|
| Puke on Deborah’s desk (like a boss)
|
| Jump out the window (like a boss)
|
| Suck a dude’s dick (like a boss)
|
| Score some coke (like a boss)
|
| Crash my car (like a boss)
|
| Suck my own dick (like a boss)
|
| Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
|
| Chop my balls off (like a boss)
|
| Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
|
| Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
|
| Fuck its brains out (like a boss)
|
| Turn into a jet (like a boss)
|
| Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
|
| Crash into the sun (like a boss)
|
| Now I’m dead (like a boss)
|
| Uh huh. |
| So that’s an average day for you then.
|
| No doubt.
|
| You chop your balls off and die.
|
| Hell yeah.
|
| And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
|
| Nope.
|
| Actually, I’m pretty sure you did.
|
| Nah, that ain’t me.
|
| OK, well this has been eye-opening for me.
|
| I’m the boss.
|
| Ya, I know, I got that. |
| You said it about 400 times.
|
| I’m the boss.
|
| Ya, ya, I got it.
|
| I’m the boss.
|
| No, I heard you, see you later!
|
| (like a boss) |