![Samus the Spaceman Cowboy - Random Encounters](https://cdn.muztext.com/i/32847564617553925347.jpg)
Date of issue: 27.05.2021
Song language: English
Samus the Spaceman Cowboy |
Let me tell you a legend |
About the greatest bounty hunter who ever lived |
A real manly man, a rugged warrior |
And they call him, 'Samus Aran.' |
As a child, he was raised up by the Chozo -- |
That’s a tribe of martian Indians, I think -- |
He saved the world and blew up other planets |
By the time that he was old enough to drink |
A sissy purple dragon ate his family |
So then Samus launched some whoopass in a can |
And beat that ugly beast three ways to Sunday |
Like a burly, beefy, brawny macho man! |
Oh Samus the Spaceman Cowboy! |
He’s a hero to us all! |
Yes, Samus th Spaceman Cowboy |
Has a robotic suit and giant balls! |
…Morph Balls, I mean |
That’s wher he curls up into a little ball and rolls around |
Like an exploding armadilla! |
Well Samus, he battled many bad guys |
But none moreso than the Toothy Jelly Blob |
And when Samus had defeated all its kinfolk |
He then made himself a jelly shiskabob! |
His rivals were a band of evil fellas: |
The Space Pirates, who sailed the seven seas! |
With his Zapper hand, he sank their pirate vessel |
And then brought those surly seadogs to their knees! |
Oh, Samus the Spaceman Cowboy! |
He’s a tough guy through and through! |
Yes, Samus the Spaceman Cowboy |
Only gets out of bed to kill and screw! |
With his «Screw Attack,» I mean |
There’s no real screwing, I guess. |
It’s mostly just for killing people |
Old Samus loved to hunt himself weird critters |
Like dinosaurs named Kraid with triple eyes |
But it only took a couple magic missiles |
To bring that giant dino down to size! |
And then at last, there came an epic showdown |
Between Samus and a motherchuckin' brain! |
But a thousand bombs and rocket launches later |
Samus gave the thing permanent migraine! |
Oh, Samus the Spaceman Cowboy! |
He’s as manly as can be! |
Needs no helmet, or suit of armor! |
Just a blue spandex suit or bikini- |
WAIT, WHAT THE- |
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