Just a couple of seconds to understand what I need to tell you all.
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Scraping through the bottom of the convolutions, I wandered with a lantern in the dark into the farthest compartment
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my memory. |
Where all the rubbish was stored, where it flowed smoothly, as if into dirty
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closet.
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These dilapidated ghosts of the past are more irrelevant than the headlines of Soviet newspapers.
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I press reset. |
I just take it and press reset.
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Exposing cuts on the ego and dislocations of the psyche, pulling off the rotten tarpaulin
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scabs of oblivion. |
Again I stare until the pain in my eyes in the infinity of the pharynx,
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where are the faces of forgotten friends that are alien like aliens from dimension Z.
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Again, fifteen fell on my shoulders with a shabby knapsack.
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These cramped classes reeking of boredom, where you have to fight first,
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to make friends later. |
(This is where filtering happens)
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The bitterness of the first puff behind the school in the alleys overgrown with acacia -
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Demonstrative actions of disregard for boring prohibitions
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From ancestors and teachers. |
To the exact sciences, I somehow without trembling ...
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They only make you fidget in your chair like a Bender combinator.
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Under the desk "The Chronicles of Ember" and the adventures of the gamer Ender |
Instead of worn textbooks. |
My hatred for them was too persistent.
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We, the children of post-perestroika, played football in the wasteland in front of the construction site.
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From domestic problems, leaving for courtyards where no one feels sorry for anyone.
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Big brothers are in hot spots. |
On TV - politicians in burning hats.
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So what to remember here about childhood? |
This is it - the corridor-access.
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It’s not that we are especially proud, but somehow we don’t particularly disdain ...
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Are you afraid to regret later that opening this door will be too painful?
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It's like that ad for Gillette - "You can hardly feel the blade."
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There are hundreds of thousands of rooms in my head and drafts and shadows walk through them.
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My memories are a gloomy pool where the fireflies of visions flicker in the darkness.
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Somewhere out there I hide what I fear most in the world.
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Age does not mean anything here, because inside we are still just children.
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Born at the turn of two millennia.
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Living at the turn of two millennia.
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Those who died at the turn of two millennia.
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Resurrected at the turn of two millennia.
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Life has not become nectar for us so that there is enough metal in the character. |
Born at the turn of the century, we suspected that fate would hardly last us
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present.
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Leaky memory. |
Cramping at night helped to blow up the capillaries,
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But more often, here we cunningly propped up our knowledge with the crutches of cribs.
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This time emerges from the depths of my memory, two steps to the old courtyard.
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We were taught to swim there, not swim. |
Closing my eyes, I return back,
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Boomerang, to where the hardening began. |
There was no right to weakness
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After all, we are the last piles. |
So it behooves us to be stronger than superhard alloys.
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I am one of those who was always with people, but was alone everywhere.
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I remember how difficult it was for me to find here the one to whom I am congenial
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And so many people passed by with whom I did not go along the way.
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There are so many forgotten pages in the book of memory where they are stored
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Blurred images of those with whom the amazing line of the road did not intertwine.
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Threads are torn - I can't describe it, I can't pick up an epithet.
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I didn't want to see half of what I saw.
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I didn't see half of what I wanted to see.
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We put our wings in chains. |
Then the chains replaced our wings. |
In my drafty house, the windows to the past are covered with historical dust.
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There are hundreds of thousands of rooms in my head and drafts and shadows walk through them.
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My memories are a gloomy pool where the fireflies of visions flicker in the darkness.
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Somewhere out there I hide what I fear most in the world.
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Age does not mean anything here, because inside we are still just children.
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Born at the turn of two millennia.
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Living at the turn of two millennia.
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Those who died at the turn of two millennia.
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Resurrected at the turn of two millennia. |