Lyrics First Penis I Saw - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Donna Lynne Champlin

First Penis I Saw

I’ve thought about him for so long
Those memories are crystal clear
I was so young, he was so big and strong
I can’t believe that he’s right here
I was such an innocent girl
When we first met
He opened up my eyes, showed me a whole new world
So how could I ever forget
The first penis I saw
First penis, very first penis
First penis, very first penis I saw
First penis, very first penis, penis
First penis, very first penis I saw
And of all the penises I’ve seen
His had the biggest impact
And by that what I mean
Is it really made me drop my jaw
'Cause it was the very first penis I saw
A few times before, I’d felt it through his pants
And just generally kinda rubbed it
But that night I decided to take a chance
I took it out, and he really seemed to love it
I didn’t know what to do next
I didn’t have that part planned
He said, «Let me show you some basic moves,»
And then he took my hand
And taught me all about the
First penis, very first penis
First penis, very first penis I saw
First penis, very first penis, penis
First penis, very first penis I saw
Not the dirtiest, also not the cleanest
In terms of penis, I really was the greenest
I was in total awe
Of the very first penis I saw
He’s coming!
Bail on the turntable!
I was so eager, I couldn’t hide my keenness
Everything about it seemed quite ingenious
I couldn’t find a single flaw
In the first penis, very first penis
Very first penis I saw