| Bo: How old are you buddy?
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| Child: 14
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| Bo: 14? |
| Is this your mother beside you?
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| Child: (mumbling)
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| Bo: This is getting awkward isn’t it?
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| Well your mother’s very cool… your mother’s very cool for bringing you
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| Remember that, remember when you get old and grey
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| And- and she was cool she brought you to a comedy show
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| I have trouble getting along with my father, he’s such a man’s man you know,
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| he lives his life by all these rules that I can’t possibly live by,
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| like he believes you should always fight fire with fire which is a horrible
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| way to live your life
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| Well cause he’s a firefighter and he was fired
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| Whoops! |
| that was stupid, let’s get a little stupider
|
| «There's a creepy old man fishing in the park, and the only problem is he tied
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| a candy bar to the end of his line, he’s trying to catch a kid.(Ping!
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| )"(Laughter)
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| For those listening on the CD, I mimed like I was catching the 14 year old I
|
| was just talking to
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| Mom isn’t happy, just guessing, not even looking
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| You know, people complain about the way I act on stage, they think I repeat
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| jokes. |
| They think- They don’t get that the way I act on stage is just that,
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| it’s an act, they think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed,
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| solipsistic, self-contained, synonyms. |
| They want me to be more a comic to the
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| people, relate to the beautiful people in this room in the overarching glue of
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| comedy, so let’s do a little but of uh relatable comedy
|
| I’m like you guys, once a week I like to slip into a deep existential
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| depression and lose all my sense of oneness and self worth HaHa
|
| And what I like to do in order to assure myself that I am unique,
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| and I’m not just one of many small, white indistinguishable perfectly
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| cylindric checker pieces in Jesus and Satan’s backgammon game
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| I won’t- guys I’ll try to say a group of words in a certain order that I think
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| no one has ever said them before, so when I’m saying them it’s kind of like «Look at me I’m participating in this new moment that no one has ever
|
| participated in before» so I feel like I’m preceding out of the abyss so I’ll
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| say something random that no one’s ever said, like «peanut butter tribadism»,
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| or I’m your father and I loved your comedy show, or «At first I didn’t feel
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| comfortable leaving him alone with my child, but then I saw his mustache, phew.
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| «Or, «Hey did you see this Amish website?»
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| Or «Hey yo baby my life’s about three things, three simple things,
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| getting money, getting pussy, and they Dewey decimal system!»
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| Or «Hey can you hold my fanny pack? |
| I’m gonna go fuck a woman»
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| You just don’t hear it!
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| (Cheers from the audience)
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| I’m giving you attention, girl who’s wooing, are you happy now?
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| (Girl: I love you!)
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| You love me, that’s nice. |
| You love the idea of me, you don’t know me but that’s
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| okay
|
| It’s called a para social relationship
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| It goes one way and it’s ultimately destructive. |
| But please, keep buying all my
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| shit forever
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| (Laughter)
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| That’s how it works. |
| Capitalism, I’m trapped, alright |