Song information On this page you can read the lyrics of the song Channel 5 News: The Musical! (Studio) , by - Bo Burnham. Release date: 16.12.2013
Age restrictions: 18+
Song language: English
Channel 5 News: The Musical! (Studio) |
| Tonight at 10 |
| The world is ending again |
| And we know why and when |
| So you better watch |
| We got a bit with some feminist chick |
| And also a picture of a starlet’s crotch! |
| Two people died, a double homicide |
| Their bodies found inside |
| Of a wishing well |
| And we tackle the flaws |
| In these obesity laws |
| In this segment that’s sponsored |
| By Taco Bell |
| We’ve got violence, danger, sex, and drugs |
| And it’s awesome cause all of it’s real! |
| We do the illusion of news and while you think you’re choosing the views |
| That you feel… |
| All of this and more and live |
| Only on the Channel 5 News! |
| Only on the Channel 5 News! |
| (Spoken) |
| We’ve got Chip Walker, live at the scene, with breaking news! |
| Chip are you |
| there? |
| (Sung) |
| Chip Walker here |
| Am I coming in clear? |
| I’m standing near |
| To the scene of the crime |
| This Iraqi guy’s shop |
| Seemed a newsworthy spot |
| So we’ve been gathering shots here for quite some time |
| Today, real fast |
| The owner’s daughter passed |
| We grabbed a shot of her ass |
| While the owner was near |
| Then he struck my chest |
| And now he’s under arrest |
| And now you people have one less |
| Man to fear |
| This family’s angry, crying, sad, and lost |
| And it’s awesome, cause all of it’s real! |
| I do the illusion of news and while you think you’re choosing the views that |
| you feel… |
| More as this develops live |
| Only on the Channel 5 News! |
| (Spoken) |
| We go now to Max Stevens, with the weather for the weekend |
| What are we looking at here, Max: umbrellas or picnic baskets? |
| Max? |
| Max?! |
| We’re experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by |
| Alright, we got a signal. |
| Cut to Max |
| (Sung) |
| Good evening, hi |
| It’s your weather guy |
| I advise you to buy |
| Another lightning rod |
| We didn’t catch |
| This impending disaster |
| Maybe it’s natural, maybe it’s God |
| The sliding mud |
| The incoming flood |
| Will never wash the blood |
| From my greedy old hands! |
| This job was fun, I had a pretty good run |
| But I’ve never been one to give in to demands! |
| People are angry, crying, sad, and lost |
| And it’s awful cause all of it’s real! |
| We do the illusion of news and while you think you’re choosing the views that |
| you feel… |
| All of this and more and live |
| Only on the Channel 5- |
| Only on the Channel 5- |
| Only-only-on- |
| (Spoken) |
| We’re back |
| News |
| (Only on the Channel 5) |
| News |
| (Only on the Channel 5) |
| News |
| (Only on the Channel 5) |
| Only on the Channel 5 news |
| (Blah Blah Blah) |
| Only on the Channel 5 |
| (Blah Blah Blah) |
| Only on the Channel 5 |
| (Blah Blah Blah) |
| Channel 5 |
| (Blah Blah Blah) |
| Only on the Channel 5 |
| (Blah Blah Blah) |