| This guy’s movies have made billions
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| He’s won 2 Oscars and earned millions
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| He’s one of the world’s biggest movie stars
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| So why do this dumb video?
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| You ask why am I in this video?
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| Well let me tell you
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| I was signing several contracts and I got confused
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| I must have mixed up all my papers cos the next thing I knew
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| I had signed up to be in this
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| What is wrong with you
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| You’re too famous to be in a pop song vid
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| It’s embarrassing!
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| I know!
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| But I signed a contract and if I back out I could be sued
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| We really can’t
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| Believe we used to look up to you
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| It’s been more than 3 years since ‘Call Me Maybe' was a hit
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| After that my career fizzled out too soon
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| I knew if the next song I released was a piece of shit
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| I’d end up waiting tables pushing a broom
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| Hell no
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| Music is a competition
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| You have to make sure people listen
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| So I made a vid everyone will watch
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| Cos it shows Tom Hanks lip syncing
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| This was a desperate and totally calculated move
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| Put a huge star in my new vid to drive YouTube views
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| Why the heck does Tom Hanks have a Tinder profile I’m confused?
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| I have no clue
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| I searched for girls and he’s on mine too
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| His lip syncing’s so bad that they hired us to dance and distract from that
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| Hi there Tom Hanks I’m driving by in a car waving to you!
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| This is all just product placement is this over soon?
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| This shot uses lens flare like J.J. |
| Abrams
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| I hope this shoot wraps soon
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| I’m really losing patience!
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| We’ve just got one scene left
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| We’re doing the dance scene next
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| I need to tell you something
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| I’m extremely constipated right now
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| Ew
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| You want some prune juice nigga?
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| Yeah!
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| This is the worst dancing that anybody could ever do
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| There was no time to rehearse it
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| Cos I’m leaving soon
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| The choreographer looks sick I think he’s about to puke
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| I can’t take this awful dancing
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| I need a men’s room!
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| I’m so fed up with this!
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| Hey Justin Bieber!
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| I’m so glad you’re here
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| I’m here
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| I’m producing a new movie you’d be the perfect star dude it’s a remake of
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| Forrest Gump
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| Wow I would love to — swag
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| Great! |
| Just sign right here on the dotted line
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| Awesome, I always wanted to be a movie star
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| I bet you have
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| Okay, boys
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| Justin here is playing Forrest Gump in the remake — lets get his legs ready,
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| huh?
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| Swag! |
| Swag! |
| Swag! |
| Swag! |
| Swag! |
| Bieber run… |