Translation of the song lyrics El Tontolgato - Porretas

El Tontolgato (original)

Como cada noche iba a casa tan contento
Unos botellines un chiri en el metro
No quiero que me noten que hoy vengo de pedo
A ver si tengo suerte y los pillo a tos durmiendo
Que de puta madre estaba to en silencio
Me puse a cenar y la gata que esta en celo
Jugando con gayumbos en la lavadora
Que cerré la puerta y estaba ella dentro
Y la gente me decía hay viene el tonto el gato
Y yo les respondía pa tu culo mi zapato
Y la gente me decía hay viene el tonto el gato
Y yo les maldecía, …pa tu culo mi aparato
Se puso tan nerviosa dando vueltas al tambor
Yo me partía el culo con el vino Don Simon
La cabeza pa arriba la cabeza pa abajo
Fui abrir la puerta y me quede con el cerrojo
Mi vieja se quedo con la boca abierta
Chiquillo que ha pasao?
¿Dónde esta la puerta?
Vaya una putada todo era una broma
Tire de la puerta y me quede hasta con la goma
Y la gente me decía hay viene el tonto el gato
Y yo les respondía pa tu culo mi zapato
Y la gente me decía hay viene el tonto el gato
Y yo les maldecía, …pa tu culo mi aparato
Tuve que bajar a la tienda el fontanero
Con la puerta en las manos aguantando el cachondeo
Vaya unos cojones me dice la señora
Como se te ocurre meterlo en la lavadora
Como no atinaba vino el fontanero
Con la sonrisita no me toques mas los guevos
Tronco lava al gato y luego yo lo tiendo
Y hecha suavizante que le viene bien pal pelo
Y la gente me decía hay viene el tonto el gato
Y yo les respondía pa tu culo mi zapato
Y la gente me decía hay viene el tonto el gato
Y yo les maldecía, …que sos den por culo a todos

(translation)

Like every night I went home so happy
A few bottles a chiri in the subway
I don't want them to notice that today I come from fart
Let's see if I'm lucky and I catch them sleeping
What a fucking mother was all in silence
I went to dinner and the cat is in heat
Playing with gayumbos in the washing machine
That I closed the door and she was inside
And the people told me here is the fool, the cat
And I answered them for your ass my shoe
And the people told me here is the fool, the cat
And I cursed them, … for your ass my device
She got so nervous spinning the drum
I broke my ass with Don Simon wine
The head pa up the head pa down
I went to open the door and I kept the bolt
My old lady was left with her mouth open
Boy, what happened?
Where is the door?
Damn it was all a joke
Pull the door and I'm even with the rubber
And the people told me here is the fool, the cat
And I answered them for your ass my shoe
And the people told me here is the fool, the cat
And I cursed them, … for your ass my device
I had to go down to the plumber's shop
With the door in his hands, enduring the mess
Go some balls tells me the lady
How can you put it in the washing machine
Since the plumber did not succeed, the plumber came
With the little smile, don't touch my cocks anymore
Trunk washes the cat and then I lay it down
And made softener that is good for her hair
And the people told me here is the fool, the cat
And I answered them for your ass my shoe
And the people told me here is the fool, the cat
And I cursed them, … that you are all fucked up