| I was gonna trim the tree, until I got high | 
| I was gonna buy you a DVD, but then I got high | 
| My presents ain’t wrapped up, and I know why | 
| 'Cause I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| I was gonna hang my lights before I got high | 
| I was supposed to book my grandma’s flight, but then I got high | 
| She’s sleepin' at LAX, and I know why | 
| 'Cause I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| I was gonna send you a card, but I got high | 
| Put a lighted reindeer in my yard, but I got high | 
| My jack-o-lantern's frozen, its still outside | 
| 'Cause I get high | 
| Because I get high | 
| 'Cause I get high | 
| I was gonna clean the chimney flue, but then I got high | 
| I was gonna roll up a fatty too for the fat guy | 
| I drank his milk and cookies, and I know why | 
| 'Cause I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| I was gonna go to midnight mass while I was high | 
| I was gonna sit there and pass some gas while I was high | 
| Now I’ll burn in h, and I know why | 
| 'Cause I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| Because I got high | 
| I was gonna kiss my grandmas face, and then I got high | 
| I was gonna eat her fruit cake too, then I got high | 
| It tasted pretty nasty, but I don’t mind | 
| Because I was high | 
| Because I was high | 
| Because I was high | 
| I’m messin with Christmas songs because I’m high | 
| I hope Afroman don’t take this wrong because he’s high | 
| If I get a call from his attorney, well I know why | 
| So he can get high | 
| So he can get high | 
| So he can get high | 
| Hey is he really high? | 
| Yeah, he’s high. | 
| Fa la lalala s do da | 
| Yeah, he really is high | 
| Snoop snoop doggy do wah | 
| Flippy de bird at you all | 
| La da da da dah de dah | 
| Doggy doo doo | 
| Say mutt? | 
| Say mutt? | 
| Say mutt? | 
| So all you kids, be real good, make your bed | 
| That’s fantastic advice for all the children. | 
| Hey man we screwed this up big time. | 
| OK? | 
| When grandma hears this, ooh man, I’m outta the will, ok? | 
| No more sweet potato pie, brother. |