Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Creationist Cousins, artist - Baba Brinkman
Date of issue: 31.07.2009
Song language: English
Creationist Cousins |
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em |
But when they talk about Jesus and Revelations and Judges |
I’ve gotta take it up with them |
‘Cause there’s a better explanation for the place that we come from, okay? |
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em |
But at the dinner table we get on some crazy discussions |
I’m always questioning their basic assumptions |
And saying, «yes I believe we came from monkeys, okay?» |
That’s the idea that most enrages Darwin’s detractors |
The idea that we came from ape-like ancestors |
Some people still question this, and say: «If we came from |
Monkeys, then how come there’s monkeys still in existence?» |
Allow me to illustrate a similar instance |
I’m descended from Dutch Calvinist immigrants |
Who came to Canada in the 1950s |
And I still have second cousins who live in the Netherlands |
But they’re not my ancestors; |
they’re my relatives |
Since we have common genetic elements |
Inherited from our great grandparents |
That’s just three generations back, but here’s the relevance |
Three thousand generations back, human beings all have |
Common ancestors, so really we’re all relatives |
Which also means all relationships are relatively incestuous |
Further back we have common ancestors with chimps |
And gorillas and elephants and plants, and billions |
Of years back our ancestors are all single-cellular |
But what I find incredible isn’t this principle |
Of unity of common descent, that’s just elegant |
What’s incredible to me is that some of my living relatives |
Still believe the earth was created about seventy-odd |
Centuries ago — around the time of the Egyptians |
By a benevolent God and that this same God |
Is currently manipulating the elements |
And that evolutionism is devilish |
Did I mention that I was descended from Calvinist fundamentalists? |
Well, I still have cousins as dedicated representatives |
Approximately twenty percent of them |
And at the dinner table we debate statistics |
And those debates get kind of interesting |
They go like this… |
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em |
But when they talk about Jesus and Revelations and Judges |
I’ve gotta take it up with them |
‘Cause there’s a better explanation for the place that we come from, okay? |
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em |
But at the dinner table we get on some crazy discussions |
I’m always questioning their basic assumptions |
And saying, «yes I believe we came from monkeys, okay?» |
I say, «Creationism is unscientific |
Ninety-nine percent of practicing scientists accept evolution |
As the best explanation we have for living systems |
Why? |
Because there’s overwhelming |
And they say, «Baba, science isn’t run by consensus |
That one percent is quite significant |
Those are the who have found signs |
Of intelligent design, but whenever they try and |
Publish it in the mainstream literature |
Besides, your presuppositions are materialistic |
Maybe all that evidence scientists say they’ve collected |
Just empirically proves that God wants our faith to be tested!» |
So then I say, «But that means your benevolent God |
Is perpetrating a massive intellectual fraud! |
So either evolution is the victim of a frame job |
Which explains all of its predictive successes |
Or we have to separate God from the scientific method» |
And that’s when my sister steps in |
To defend a different kind of creationism — Cultural creationism |
Also known as «social constructivism» or «post-modernism» |
She says: «Baba, the Western scientific method |
Is just as subjective as every other cultural tradition |
Except it’s just better at pretending to be objective |
Because, like, all behaviour is socially constructed |
And mostly, it just promotes injustice |
And, like, gender roles have nothing to do with genitals |
They’re just a way for men to control women’s goals |
And try to turn us all into Playboy centerfolds |
Haven’t you heard about that tribe in the Amazon |
Where the woman does the man’s jobs and hunts and plants the crops |
And brings home the food for the man to wash? |
Um, I can’t remember exactly what that clan is called |
But I know it’s a published fact |
Because I read about it in my Women’s Studies class |
And it proves that gender is a socially constructed act |
So how does sociobiology explain that?» |
And all I can do is come back with more statistics |
About the high percentage of indigenous |
Societies where polygamy is prolific |
And about human sexual dimorphism |
And the different reproductive investments between men and women |
Which of course then gets my religious cousins offended |
Because it doesn’t credit Genesis with our humble beginnings |
And, let’s just say, the discussions are endless |
But it isn’t about who is impartial; |
no one’s impartial |
It’s about how much evidence you can marshal |
And how you deliver the parcel |
And when my relatives argue, I have to have faith |
That we can reach the genuine article in a rational way |
That’s a different kind of faith than my cousins have |
In divine creation, but hey, to all of my relatives |
And fellow primates, I say |
If it makes you feel better, go head and pray |
In fact, here’s how I pray in a secular way |
I say, «I have creationist relatives and relative apes |
And I wish them all happiness, whatever their faith |
And I wish myself patience, since I relish debates |
Let us all be respectful and still tell it straight» |
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em |
But when they talk about Jesus and Revelations and Judges |
I’ve gotta take it up with them |
‘Cause there’s a better explanation for the place that we come from, okay? |
Creationist cousins, they’re my relations, I love ‘em |
But at the dinner table we get on some crazy discussions |
I’m always questioning their basic assumptions |
And saying, «yes I believe we came from monkeys, okay? |