| We can take our time, we don’t have to hurry
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray
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| Hand on the bible, no perjury to the jury
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray
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| My great great great grandfather was a Scottish Presbyterian
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| He traveled to South Africa to settle and get married in
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| The Transvaal,
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| which was an Afrikaner area
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| That Dutch Reform Christian folk were farming dairy in
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| My great great great grandfather Andrew Murray was a minister
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| 1822 he emigrated to begin his work
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| Preaching sermons every Sunday for the sons and daughters
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| Of the Boer people,
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| the cattle-farming Afrikaners
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| Calvinism was the religion, he did the honours
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| David Livingstone was one of his visiting doctors
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| He went to Holland first to learn the tongue of the Netherlands
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| He needed it to tend his flock and be a better Reverend
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| Mooi! |
| Maria Stegmann was his 16 year old wife
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| & soon they had a couple of kids, I’m talkin' plural
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| Nice!
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| Andrew junior was a writer
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| He wrote The Prayer Life, Abide in Christ and other fine works
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| Two hundred and forty total books of Christian piety |
| Surrender and devotion,
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| obedience and sobriety
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| I come from good good Scottish protestant stock
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| My ancestors loved that divine providence talk
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| My ancestors, well they weren’t exactly rational
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| Except that natural selection trades in one capital
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| Surviving descendants, raw genetic self-interest
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| And that’s different from individual forms of selfishness
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| Andrew Murray could’ve set up shop to sell fishnets on the Scottish coast,
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| but he was just too religious
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| So instead he was a fishermen of men like the apostles
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| He read his gospels and had as many kids as possible
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| But we can take our time,
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| we don’t have to hurry
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray
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| Hand on the bible,
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| no perjury to the jury
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray
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| So if I’m livin' and my cousins are livin'
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| Maybe there’s something more to my great grandfather’s religion
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| Than meets the naked eye, ‘cause they spread the word of Christ
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| And they married fertile wives
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| and their children’s children thrived
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| And I bet they’d probably tell you they did it for Jesus' sake and |
| Not because the love of Jesus leads to baby-makin'
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| But I’m tryin' to see how these religions came to be
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| And that’s different from the reason people say they believe
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| ‘Cause if beliefs can motivate you to an action that’s adaptive
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| There’s no reason those beliefs need to be factually accurate
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| In fact, if they can motivate you better with distractions
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| From reality, well we would call that «practically accurate»
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| And pragmatism when you’re talkin' natural selection
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| Just means: «Whatever leads to leavin' plentiful descendants»
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| That’s the «ultimate cause» and to emphasize the difference
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| The «proximate cause» is in emotional mechanisms
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| And yes, participation in a church can bring some benefits
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| Mutual collectivist assistance and the rest of it
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| The circling of wagons and defence of all your brethren
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| The measurable acceptance and love and trust and togetherness
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| That comes from bein' part of somethin' bigger than yourself
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| If you need to find community, hey, religion can help
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| But I’ve got my own community, some hippie Canadians |
| Some hip-hop heads and some entertainers and atheists
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| And writers and some scientists and profs at some colleges
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| And yeah, religious people seem to be outbreeding all of us
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| But we can take our time,
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| we don’t have to hurry
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray
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| Hand on the bible,
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| no perjury to the jury
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray
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| I went down to South Africa to meet my Christians cousins
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| And whoa!
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| I’ve got dozens to the power of dozens
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| Explosive exponential growth,
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| I’m talkin' hundreds
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| And hundreds, my cousin Teo did the sums and number crunchin'
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| And yeah, Andrew Murray’s doin' okay genetically
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| Let me break it down for you geometrically
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| Andrew and his teenaged wife Maria Stegmann
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| Had sixteen children and one of them had sixteen children
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| And the rest had nine or ten, and some died at a young age
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| But their surviving grandchildren numbered a hundred and eight
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| And every single one of his sons became ministers
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| In the church,
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| and every one of his daughters married ministers
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| And it worked,
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| Andrew Murray had eight thousand descendants |
| Of which five thousand are now currently livin'
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| Of which only one is kickin' raps about religion
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| And that, ladies and gentlemen, is natural selection
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| So here’s a definition of religion:
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| it’s an evolved mechanism for converting resources into descendants
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| Evolved via culture through religious competitions
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| And evolved in our mental architecture that’s intrinsic
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| Cause our minds are designed to get religious in the right conditions
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| Especially when things are fragile and your life is threatened
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| See, Andrew Murray preached a sermon every Sunday
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| But I be preachin' on stages myself so I can’t complain
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| I’m just glad my sister and my women cousins
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| Aren’t expected to have babies by the dozens and dozens
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| I mean,
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| Maria Stegmann could’ve had a career
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| I guess she was born in the wrong year,
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| poor dear
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| Well her great great great great granddaughter will be brought up religion free
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| Let’s see if my baby makes her decisions differently
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| I got a preacher’s blood,
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| but with a science brain
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| So let’s take this godless revival to a higher plain |
| I got a preacher’s blood, but with a science brain
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| So let’s take this godless revival to a higher plain!
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| But we can take our time,
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| we don’t have to hurry
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray
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| Hand on the bible,
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| no perjury to the jury
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| Andrew Murray, Andrew Murray |