Lyrics I Run NY - The Lonely Island, Billie Joe Armstrong

I Run NY

Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor of New York
Good morning
It’s been brought to my attention that many rap artists claim they run New York
But this is not the case
In fact, I wrote my own song about what it’s really like
Please excuse the profanity in advance
Hit it
I run New York!
New York, big city of dreams
And you know that I run this town (I run it!)
The king of the streets, dressed in concrete
Skyscrapers on my crown (I'm the king!)
So if you want this Big Apple
Come try to take a bite (C'mon!)
Cause I run this motherfucking city
And I won’t give it up without a fight
Yo, I run New York, it’s a pain in the ass
The city’s crowded as fuck and it’s covered in trash
And the sanitation chief just shoveled shit in my face
Another transit strike?
Aw, fucking great
I can’t wait
To have another meeting with the labor union
So the mob can bend me over
And then shove their fucking shoe in
But I do it
So you can sip your pumpkin latté
I literally run New York and it’s exhausting
I run New York, it’s a fuckin' headache
It really wears you down (It sucks!)
In this lake of bureaucratic bullshit
It’s a miracle I don’t drown
Yo, I double literally run New York: I run the marathon
Plus I organize it, so I double run the marathon
But no one seems to give a fuck that I’m a paragon
Instead, they Photoshop me so it’s looking like I wear a thong
And laugh at it in my own office when I’m gone
I went to the Knicks game and they booed me on the Jumbotron
Excuse me for trying to help you
They won’t be satisfied 'til I’m locked up in Bellevue
I guess they don’t tell you, this job sucks dick
I run New York and it feels like shit
The Chief of Police is a major bully
He laughs at my ideas (He's a jerk!)
He made fun of my tie last week
And I had to fight back tears
Now on the surface, it probably seems like I should quit
'Cause I spend every day getting punched in the dick
But at night, I travel down into the subway
Wearing chainmail, locked and loaded for gunplay
And battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats
If I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that?
I’ll give you a hint: the answer is no one
That’s why I’m in the sewer dressed up like a shogun
'Cause on the equinox, a Hell Gate springs
Releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings
And no one even knows, they just think I’m a dork
But I still kill those fucking dogs, cause I run New York
I run New York, it’s a shitty gig
No overtime in my pay (Bullshit!)
I asked this city for a fuckin' bonus
And they said «no fuckin' way» (Unreal!)
So rotten is this Big Apple
It’s crawling with worms inside (Come on!)
But I run this motherfucking shithole city
And it makes me wanna die
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
I run New York!
Thank you