| This is hard for me to do |
| But I can’t seem to stop myself |
| I know you said that we were through |
| And here I am |
| I’m calling you |
| Please try to understand |
| I see myself as your loving man |
| Whatever it is you think I lack |
| Let’s talk about it |
| Call me back |
| Press 1 if you want me |
| Press 2 if you don’t |
| Press 3 if you’ll forgive me |
| Press 4 if you won’t |
| Press 5 if you doubt me |
| Press 6 if you trust |
| Press pound if you love me |
| Or hang up if you must |
| I have an unlimited plan |
| I forward my calls everywhere |
| I check my voice-mail from the car |
| Or at the payphone in the bar |
| I’m wearing a beeper all the time |
| I carry a portable fax |
| Instant message me on the train |
| I get my emails from the plane |
| Press 1 if you re-married |
| Press 2 if you’re gay |
| Press 3 if you’re dating |
| That prick from L. A |
| Press 5 if you’re screening |
| Press 6 if you’re dead |
| Press pound if you love me |
| Or hang up instead |
| I’m outside your house now |
| There’s not even one light on |
| Has there been a blackout? |
| I don’t know |
| Is that a police car? |
| I should go |
| Press 1 to press charges |
| Press 2 to feel my pain |
| Press 3 to place an order |
| Press 4 to restrain |
| Press 5 for visiting hours |
| Press 6 for a day pass |
| Press pound if you love me |
| You sure look good through the glass |