| Oy, the mistakes I made
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| I should have spent more time in the shade
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| Kept the curtains closed
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| So the fabrics wouldn’t fade
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| Oy the mistakes I made
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| Oy, the money I spent
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| Why’d I have to buy in Boynton
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| For three weeks I could rent
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| Instead I paid the maintenance
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| While cousins came and went
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| Oy, the money I spent
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| I can take an insignificant pain
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| Turn it into a runaway train
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| I keep doing it again and again
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| It just feels so damn good
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| To complain
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| Oy, the days I blew
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| Collecting all that stupid Steuben
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| Why not just a few
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| Maria broke the porcupine
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| The frog and swans too
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| Oy, the days I blew
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| It just feels so damn good
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| To complain
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| Oy, the things I’ve said
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| Slipped out in conversations
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| Landing like a piece of lead
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| Making any sort of interaction
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| Something that I dread
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| Oy, the things I’ve said
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| An empty seat for someone to fill in
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| That Linda Rosen seemed so nice and willin'
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| I used a recipe from Calvin Trillin
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| Things were going well till I
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| Tied her up with my tefillin
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| Oy, the mistakes I hope to make
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| If I live a long time |
| That’s why I gave up cake
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| Now I’m sprinkling flax seed
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| On a three ounce piece of steak
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| Probably just another mistake
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| I wonder if my flax seed is fake
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| This is why I lay awake
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| Thinking about my mistakes
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| It just feels so damn good
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| To complain |