| At eight or ten I wondered why my voice wasn’t breaking yet
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| I was impatient to get from A to Z
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| So I’d break a sweat, play cassettes in my tape deck
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| Waiting for the day I could step to a stage
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| And get paid respect, paid a cheque
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| Maybe other kids would even play with me then
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| It’s great to pretend the tune was written for you
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| That’s why you sing with the radio while it ignores you
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| You perform awful but feel a lot better
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| Boom Boom Boom, Her Come the Hotstepper
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| Even back then my preference was funky
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| But less funky house than House in the Country
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| Syncopation, soul, anybody ill with it
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| Other kids had Whigfield, I was feeling Bill Withers
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| And to this day I’m still with him
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| Because nothing beats a sweet voice on distilled rhythms
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| I’m digging up my roots for you
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| Cooking up a little tuneful food
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| Come to the garden for a barbecue
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| And chill with me
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| Before I even saw South Park on TV
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| I know by heart the South Park CD
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| GTA: 1969 opened a life long affinity for Trojan
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| Return of Django, Skinhead Moonstomp
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| Music of Jamaican origin liberating my boom box
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| Too young for Appetite for Destruction
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| So The Offspring were my rock introduction
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| That was all I needed to be free
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| A CD with some power chords shredding like a power saw
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| «Fuck me, wow» I thought
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| How can plucked strings be this powerful?
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| But then I found another source of auditory debauchery
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| This naughty teen though was sweet
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| I bought a CD by an emineMC
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| Called «Hi! |
| My Name Is Slim Shady»
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| I played it on my hi-fi daily
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| It never seemed to cease to amaze me
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| He’d say some crazy things
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| That were great for a teenager that needed danger
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| I’d replay the lyrics amazed
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| At the way the images would flicker inside my brain so vivdly
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| An outsider, a country bumpkin
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| Sitting inside with the Outsidaz bumping
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| There’s something about the rhymes
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| Nothing else quite does as well, I love it
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| Cypress Hill: Live at the Fillmore
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| I’m not going to lie, that film was raw
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| Each rap I heard, each film I saw
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| Inspired me to build my skills some more
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| So I bought more CDs to imitate
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| Believe me, back in the day it was great
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| I had piano lessons after every school day
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| But my patience was thinner than an anorexic
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| I didn’t want to play ballads anyway
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| I had a daydream of breakbeats and a pen and paper
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| So I said I’d make the make believe real
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| And make some real reel to reels like B-real
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| But the magic’s made on computers today
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| So I used Magix Music Maker
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| Read the instructions, learnt all the book
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| Taught myself big beats like Norman Cook
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| Always cooking up a new track
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| Though with no microphone I couldn’t actually do rap
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| That was too bad, but it wasn’t too bad
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| Cause I’d already forgot and had a new fad
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| Threw away The Source, bought a new mag
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| Made new mates, talked in a new slang
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| I was a punk rocker now, proper loud
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| Would you believe I grabbed the opportunity to fuck about?
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| But what about the music? |
| I’ve gone and lost it now
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| So I grabbed a guitar and started rocking out
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| Made a band with my mates called Matrons Apron
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| We played around, made some tapes it was great fun
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| Full of belly laughs
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| Even received a brief mention in the Telegraph
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| Just a couple of kids, played a couple of gigs
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| And then my mated moved on but fuck if I did
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| Obviously too late, got a copy of Cubase
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| A lot of tunes made, now it’s today
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| I’ve innovated, took my inspirations in and made them
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| Into an original addition to you playlist
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| So now I meditate about how to elevate
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| Cause Safe was just the safety net to let me levitate
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| I’m picking my best fruit for you
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| You’re the one, and I’d like tea for two
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| Come to the garden for a barbecue
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| And chill with me |