| At eight or ten I wondered why my voice wasn’t breaking yet | 
| I was impatient to get from A to Z | 
| So I’d break a sweat, play cassettes in my tape deck | 
| Waiting for the day I could step to a stage | 
| And get paid respect, paid a cheque | 
| Maybe other kids would even play with me then | 
| It’s great to pretend the tune was written for you | 
| That’s why you sing with the radio while it ignores you | 
| You perform awful but feel a lot better | 
| Boom Boom Boom, Her Come the Hotstepper | 
| Even back then my preference was funky | 
| But less funky house than House in the Country | 
| Syncopation, soul, anybody ill with it | 
| Other kids had Whigfield, I was feeling Bill Withers | 
| And to this day I’m still with him | 
| Because nothing beats a sweet voice on distilled rhythms | 
| I’m digging up my roots for you | 
| Cooking up a little tuneful food | 
| Come to the garden for a barbecue | 
| And chill with me | 
| Before I even saw South Park on TV | 
| I know by heart the South Park CD | 
| GTA: 1969 opened a life long affinity for Trojan | 
| Return of Django, Skinhead Moonstomp | 
| Music of Jamaican origin liberating my boom box | 
| Too young for Appetite for Destruction | 
| So The Offspring were my rock introduction | 
| That was all I needed to be free | 
| A CD with some power chords shredding like a power saw | 
| «Fuck me, wow» I thought | 
| How can plucked strings be this powerful? | 
| But then I found another source of auditory debauchery | 
| This naughty teen though was sweet | 
| I bought a CD by an emineMC | 
| Called «Hi! | 
| My Name Is Slim Shady» | 
| I played it on my hi-fi daily | 
| It never seemed to cease to amaze me | 
| He’d say some crazy things | 
| That were great for a teenager that needed danger | 
| I’d replay the lyrics amazed | 
| At the way the images would flicker inside my brain so vivdly | 
| An outsider, a country bumpkin | 
| Sitting inside with the Outsidaz bumping | 
| There’s something about the rhymes | 
| Nothing else quite does as well, I love it | 
| Cypress Hill: Live at the Fillmore | 
| I’m not going to lie, that film was raw | 
| Each rap I heard, each film I saw | 
| Inspired me to build my skills some more | 
| So I bought more CDs to imitate | 
| Believe me, back in the day it was great | 
| I had piano lessons after every school day | 
| But my patience was thinner than an anorexic | 
| I didn’t want to play ballads anyway | 
| I had a daydream of breakbeats and a pen and paper | 
| So I said I’d make the make believe real | 
| And make some real reel to reels like B-real | 
| But the magic’s made on computers today | 
| So I used Magix Music Maker | 
| Read the instructions, learnt all the book | 
| Taught myself big beats like Norman Cook | 
| Always cooking up a new track | 
| Though with no microphone I couldn’t actually do rap | 
| That was too bad, but it wasn’t too bad | 
| Cause I’d already forgot and had a new fad | 
| Threw away The Source, bought a new mag | 
| Made new mates, talked in a new slang | 
| I was a punk rocker now, proper loud | 
| Would you believe I grabbed the opportunity to fuck about? | 
| But what about the music? | 
| I’ve gone and lost it now | 
| So I grabbed a guitar and started rocking out | 
| Made a band with my mates called Matrons Apron | 
| We played around, made some tapes it was great fun | 
| Full of belly laughs | 
| Even received a brief mention in the Telegraph | 
| Just a couple of kids, played a couple of gigs | 
| And then my mated moved on but fuck if I did | 
| Obviously too late, got a copy of Cubase | 
| A lot of tunes made, now it’s today | 
| I’ve innovated, took my inspirations in and made them | 
| Into an original addition to you playlist | 
| So now I meditate about how to elevate | 
| Cause Safe was just the safety net to let me levitate | 
| I’m picking my best fruit for you | 
| You’re the one, and I’d like tea for two | 
| Come to the garden for a barbecue | 
| And chill with me |