Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song The Arch-Illager, artist - Dan Bull. Date of issue: 14.11.2021
Age restrictions: 18+
Song language: English
The Arch-Illager |
| I was born into a cruel and unforgiving |
| Nasty world that didn’t want me |
| They rejected, disrespected, scorned |
| And shunned me, cold and hungry |
| All I wanted was some company to be comfy |
| But to put it bluntly they were being a bunch |
| Of considerably rude neighbours, so I gave up |
| Then I stumbled on a bloody massive cave, look |
| The doorway yawned awake slowly |
| I wasn’t brave normally |
| But a strange force was calling me |
| And so with flaming torch in hand |
| I made my way forward, though those serrated |
| Corners on the boulders made it awkward |
| I gazed on in awe following a short reconnaissance |
| I saw what lay before me, it was called the orb of dominance |
| It held sway over my thoughts, I gained confidence |
| Till at once the commoners no longer had my tolerance |
| I’m a small illager, the littlest around |
| But now I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna be well-endowed |
| I’m a small illager, my will it stands proud |
| Growing till I fit the throne so hand me the crown |
| Now bow down, show me the top of your head |
| Hey, I said bow down, else I’ll be dropping you dead |
| I’m the arch-illager and I will pillage your village |
| Until you give in so run, you can’t win |
| If you stand in my path you’ll get trampled like grass |
| I see you haven’t any heating, I can provide that |
| No need to thank me, here’s a torch completely free of charge |
| I’ll leave your family tree scorched, slashed with lethal steel shards |
| Oh, I see you’re planning a resistance, if you’re going to lead the charge |
| Be advised, objects in your rearview appear large |
| Your mistake was thinking this a safe space for your opinions |
| Till my minions chased you straight away from my dominion |
| So make haste, spread my covenant all across the kingdom |
| I’m your new government coming for more than just your income |
| You can try assembling a rebellion of adventurers |
| It’s never gonna bother me, my friend, so don’t pretend it does |
| I’m the arch-illager, now come on down |
| Down into my dungeon, have a look around |
| I’m the arch-illager living in a cave |
| And having a party while keeping villagers enslaved |
| Now come on down, down, come on quicker |
| Chop chop, come on down, down some hard liquor |
| I am the arch-illager, handle my business |
| Now everybody give a big hand to our visitors |
| Look at you and your gang, you couldn’t be more villainous |
| Forcing my hand, you’re gonna be all prisoners |
| No forgiveness, I’m sending in my skeletons |
| In regiments defending us against your weapons with a vengeance |
| Repelling your torches, enemy forces |
| Making me nauseous, better be cautious |
| Or you’ll be left on the edge of a tall cliff, awkward, better restore quick |
| Then come down into the dungeon where the smell is rather pungent |
| Can’t tell if it’s your bunions or you’ve been cutting some onions |
| I’m the arch-illager, thank you for coming down |
| Now make yourself comfortable, have a look around |
| I’m the arch-illager, catching you unaware |
| If you come in unprepared here’s someone you haven’t met |
| So glad you came down, down, summoned to my lair |
| There now, what’s the matter chuck? |
| You look a little scared |
| I’m the arch-illager and I warned ya |
| That if you didn’t give up then I’d have to confiscate your head |