
Date of issue: 20.09.2018
Age restrictions: 18+
Song language: English
Bullshot |
According to a recent tweet by Iggy Azalea |
«Diss songs shouldn’t be filled with |
Celebrity name drops to pad out lazy bars» |
I beg to differ |
Rihanna never hit me in a text, I take that as disrespect |
So now I’m gonna diss this set of celebs, just for the Swift effect |
Don’t care whether it’s correct |
This is the internet, we’re here to misdirect |
So don’t get offended, it’s just pretend |
And I’m dissing them, just to hit the trend |
Ripping Eminem’s latest song, it’d be thick to spend a cent on |
Iggy Azalea, real name is Kelly, so maybe you’re jelly |
That Machine Gun’s taking the credit, your space on radio and telly |
You’ve changed, Katy Perry |
Used to be irritating but lately you’re very |
Whereas me, I’m the same as I was as a teenager |
But with a way bigger belly |
Oh, by the way, got a tip for J. Cole, just shut your cake hole |
Oh, hey, Dolan Dark, these aren’t memes, they’re stolen art |
You need to see a doctor, Grandayy |
Grab that needle, cold and sharp |
Stick it in Logan’s heart, before the rematch show can start |
He’s overdosing on his own ego |
We need Maxmoefoe so he can barf |
At my birthday, someone put on Paul McCartney |
I said «Fuh You, don’t spoil my party» |
No one wants anymore of the Carters |
We only want Jay-Z or Beyoncé |
I can’t say anything about Ariana Grande |
Without making a tear drop |
Andrew Huang makes music out of anything |
Why not make it out of earshot? |
Career got as big as Big Narstie |
Now it’s shrinking in size, Melissa McCarthy |
I’m Dana Carvey, trying to re-create the fame of Garth |
Dick Ayoade, you’re not Moss |
And Minecraft’s something that you’ll never top, Notch |
Beat the devil out of Bob Ross |
Make him run out of red, blood loss |
Does anybody watch Smosh or did they swap for Vanoss? |
Gosh |
But guess what? |
Whatever it was, I bet it’s not Jesse Cox |
Went to the docks and I searched the whole harbour |
Still couldn’t dredge anything up as low as Nicole Arbour |
Not even me when I’m dissing my own father |
Or asking, «Where's your certificate, Obama?» |
Oh, MC Lars, your tracks are like town on a Wednesday |
Empty bars |
Damn, I’m begging you, Kendrick Lamar, don’t smoke |
Your flow’s full of phlegm and catarrh |
I bent my guitar trying to play like Brian May |
I should make him send me the cost |
But he might not pay off, like calling iDubbbz gay |
Hey, didn’t anybody tell J Cyrus how stale Vine is |
You’re past your sell date, RiceGum |
Tyler, the Creator, a tireless creator of shiteness |
Tried to get the Fine Brothers feat on a track |
The cheek, they didn’t even react |
Don’t know where to start with JackSepticEye |
There’s too much for this track to rectify |
That’s the beauty, I don’t have to specify |
Cover my tracks, I misdirect and lie |
Jonathan Pie, a collar and tie, won’t hide your bile |
So curl up and die |
Why do you even try? |
Should leave and cry like Stephen Fry |
Jeez, I sound like Pyrocynical, the kind of guy that find it difficult |
To say anything nice, he’s like the pinnacle of edgy teens |
Trying to rebel |
It’s nigh on as bad as ImAllexx and I simply don’t like Callux |
Markiplier? |
Bollocks, you can write that in italics |
Casey Neistat is compensating too hard for his lazy life status |
Making millions saying inane opinions |
I’m hating Maisie Williams in the same way you’re hating Minions |
It’s a silly thin, but I really think Lilly Singh shouldn’t really sing |
Jimmy Kimmel, get off my homepage |
And lemme see more Limmy’s Show |
Lately, there’s way too much Amy Schumer |
Can’t get rid of her, baby boomer |
Had enough of that zany humour |
I want her gone now, maybe sooner |
JT Music, were you ashamed of your Machinima name |
Or did you lose it? |
Catch up, we’re not living in a kingly age |
Yeah, I’m looking at you, Lindybeige |
Won’t see me in the club, there’s a reason, ayy |
I dance like Theresa May |
Recently, I’ve been forcing rhymes, Eminem does it all the time |
Now Shady’s forty-five, anyone still check Shade 45? |
By the way, Oliver Age 24, you’re not twenty-four anymore |
Just go away, Wroetoshaw and on the way out, close the door |
Gameboy Jones should call it quits |
I don’t know what you’re posting for |
No one’s coming for your show, Paul Joseph Watson |
There’s no conspiracy, no one’s watching |
They just chose an option with no bloke who’s foaming, frothing? |
Rode a Salford bus for several stops, just to slag Gary Neville off |
Now that Rap Devil dropped, I can attack Kwebbelkop |
Travis Scott, I’ve got goosebumps |
When I burned the booth of Charlie Sloth |
Shefali Oza, weather? |
He hardly knows her |
Give it up, Stylosa, nobody’s watching your show, it’s all over |
Like Alex Jones looking at trans phallic zones on his phone |
Though he sprays transphobic rage, he loves dick, Bonecage |
Dragging brains back to the stone age |
Let’s locate Post Malone’s cage |
Hey, ProZD looks just like an emoji, see? |
Give him the stink eye, I miss Pink Guy, how slow could Joji be? |
An eager beaver, these people are |
Needless as Jessica Nigri’s DD procedure |
Don’t need to hear Justin Bieber, Wiz Khalifa or Nigahiga either |
I’m recalling Ethan and Hila, getting all in Jordan Peterson’s wiener |
Breath reeks of lobster now, better brush your teeth |
Call Lady Leshurr |
Peter Dinklage need elocution lessons for better speaking english |
Hey, Peter Serafinowicz, look around |
Your second season’s really shit |
I blame Graham Lineham personally |
Says TERF is a slur but will curse at adversaries |
Doubt? |
Read all about it, where on earth is Professor Green now? |
Emma Blackery ain’t exactly singing masterly |
New songs sound made in a factory and that’s flattery |
Music quality descending rapidly |
Now lemme give Roomie a tip, try improving your tuning a bit |
Like the surgery Boogie has picked, it’s just a band; |
Scroobius Pip |
Hope nobody’ll wanna sue me for this |
Chris Brown already had too many hits |
How many people can I humanly diss |
And how many of 'em will see the humour in this? |
6ix9ine's too busy grooming the kids, is he guilty? |
Yeah, I’m assuming he is |
Chris Pine’s no brilliant actor, William Shatner’s really a bastard |
Dizzee Rascal’s as good at music as |
Gizzy Gazza’s as good at movies |
Richard Branson sniffs his pants and Arin Hanson |
That man ain’t handsome |
Jim Chapman, might as well dress in drag or a bin bag |
Fuck Big Stig and Syntax, fuck Strippin and Sjin, twats |
I don’t donate to Philip DeFranco |
Patreon hidden, it’s fillin' his bank tho |
I don’t hate him |
I’m just jealous of him making dollars out of all you fellows |
I make Jacob Rees-Mogg swap place |
With Snoop Dogg and do drugs |
With Joe Sugg and PewDie’s pugs, Ozuna’s music truly sucks |
I truly hope Armando Iannucci’s movies tank |
Coochie coo |
Lil Pump don’t wanna know what I’d do to your gucci gang |
Donald Trump, what can I say that hasn’t been said? |
I’m all stumped |
Like when I’m watching Watsky ruin his career, what’s he doing? |
I’m obviously too envious of Stupendium to be friends with him |
FRANKIEonPC 1080p's outdated, get a new pentium |
I’m heavily scorning Jeremy Corbyn |
Anarchy’s a better remedy for him |
Could Ellen be more fawning? |
Forget Stormzy, gimme a storm warning |
I’m going all in, Jake Paul is appalling, Jay Foreman is boring |
James Corden, according to me, is a great big ball of just boring |
I’ll call in and diss my Discord server |
'Til Brit’s a bit more subservient |
Brit, you’re my servant, Nick, Jordan, all of you are boring burdens |
I’m an insult-hurling Birmingham boy, pure vermin |
Slow burning, Bo Burnham |
And pointing out that Hola Soy isn’t so German |
Do I rate Elro? |
Hell no, potientally wish him well though |
Can’t take it, but I dish it out, tell Ricky Berwick to lick his elbow |
Dude Perfect, you’re as perfect as superfluous feuds; |
worthless |
Never worked out what your true purpose is |
Useless as Keem as a news journalist |
Fuck anybody who’s heard my diss |
Including you, you’re deserving this |
Put the word out quick |
NerdOut ripped me off, I’m not sore about it |
'Cause they’re the new kid on the block and I used to be hot, now I’m not like |
a burnt out whip |
Miracle of Sound, you’re really dumbing down |
I can already predict your single coming out |
I’d give Aaron Fraser-Nash a razor gash |
You’re a clown, FabvL, chap, sit down |
Shit, wow, look at Daddyphatsnaps' cruddy track |
That’s bloody crap, that |
But still, I might pirate it, like I’m on a pirate ship, flying a black flag |
Oi, Henry Rollins, you’re a punk Phil Collins |
Fuck Peter Hollens and Jack Frags |
Action Bronson’s rappin' nonsense, Elon Musk’s an actual nonce |
He interrupted Andy Milonakis' stream |
And tried to touch his johnson |
My stream of consciousness constantly leaking consonants |
Upon the beat, incontinent concerts in three different continents |
Concertinaed concepts, don’t leave a comment |
I won’t read your correspondence |
I’m more bothered reading Boris Johnson’s bollocks columns |
Cheated on his wife and he lost the ring |
So you can’t blame the hobbits, Gollum |
Alex Wassabi, I’m sorry that you are not with Lauren |
Sid Vicious, gone but not forgotten, unlike Johnny Rotten |
I’m not fond of Benedenedict Cucumberuphisbottom |
Plus, it’s not often Hopsin drops something I bother watching |
If I’ve got the option, I would rather watch Matt Hoss or nothing |
Make a schedule, Boyinaband |
Stop going away and annoying the fans |
But Faze Banks, stay away, thanks |
I’m sure when you talk it’s great bants |
Nah, you’re as awkward as a Ricky Gervais dance |
So I’m already making escape plans |
Hmm, I wonder whether Drake wanks |
Then shakes hands with underage fans |
I’ll sponsor Colin Kaepernick, just to piss off the racist pricks |
I’ll take a shit and rub their face in it, then make them pay for it |
Fuck David Shrigley, JME, fuck Daniel Craig, Xzibit |
And absolutely fuck that Microsoft Word paperclip |
I hate myself |
I’m just playing, all of you fore-mentioned people |
You know I love you |
Name | Year |
---|---|
Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom | 2014 |
I've Got a Bone | 2020 |
Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom | 2020 |
Dungeon Keeper | 2015 |
San Andreas | 2017 |
Junkrap | 2021 |
Nether Zombie Pigman Minecraft Rap | 2018 |
I'm Heading Out (Of My Mind) | 2023 |
I'm a Zombie | 2021 |
A Purpose for New London ft. The Stupendium | 2020 |
Enderman Rap ft. Rockit Gaming | 2017 |
10 Years of Borderlands | 2019 |
We Told You So ft. Dan Bull | 2022 |
Hades Gonna Hate | 2022 |
The Outer Worlds | 2020 |
The Arch-Illager | 2021 |
The New Colossus ft. Machinae Supremacy | 2018 |
You're Special! | 2016 |
Dishonored | 2014 |
Salty Seamen | 2024 |