| It’s come to this, like I knew it would
|
| Since I’m now single for good
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| I know just what I gotta do
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| I gotta go get myself a buttload of cats
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| A buttload of cats!
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| A buttload of cats
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| Way too many cats
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| When you’re a permanent bachelorette
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| It’s mandatory that you go out and get
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| A buttload of cats
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| Oh, yeah!
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| I walk myself down to the Lonely Lady Cat Store
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| The smell is overwhelming inside
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| This is the future smell of my house
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| It’s the smell of my dreams that have died
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| And cats!
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| I walk up to the cat shelf
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| Where the cats are labeled big and small
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| The saleslady asks, «Is there one you like?»
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| And I state, «I'll take them all!»
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| I want a buttload of cats
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| Meow a buttload of cats
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| Give me a buttload of cats
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| Meow a buttload of cats
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| Meow
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| The saleslady’s pumped, she’s closin' early
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| And headed home to her sad walk-up apartment
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| Filled with her own buttload of cats
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| Meow meow meow
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| That she got at a discount
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| Meow meow meow
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| 'Cause she works at the cat store
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| Meow meow meow
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| Meow meow meow
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| Meow meow meow meow meow
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| Why have cats over time become
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| Synonymous with loneliness?
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| We gotta work on our collective image
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| We need a new publicist
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| The ironic part is, we’re not that friendly
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| If you’re lonely, we might make it worse
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| Also, we sleep, like, sixteen hours a day
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| Have you considered getting a dog?
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| Nope, I want a buttload of you guys
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| Okay, we warned you
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| A buttload of cats!
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| We’re gonna ruin your couch
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| There’s a lot of evidence that organisms in cat poop make you crazy
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| Yes, we saw that article in The Atlantic. |
| And then we peed on The Atlantic
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| But I still want a buttload of cats |