| Twin: I’m not sure how to tell you this
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| It’s a bit awkward, but, um, I’m your identical twin
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| Baba: No shit?
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| Twin: Yeah, I tracked you down with a Google search,
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| I’ve known for about two years, but I thought
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| No, it’s just too weird
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| Baba: What?!? |
| No way, what’s your birthday?
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| Twin: It’s October 22nd 1978
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| The same as yours, I tracked you through an adoption agent
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| I’ve been watching you since about 2008
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| I can’t say why our biological parents would want to separate us
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| But anyway, I thought we should, you know, get acquainted
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| Baba: I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say
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| I’m shocked, I can’t wait to talk to my mom
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| And dad and ask them what the hell they were on
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| Giving up an identical twin for adoption
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| But I guess they probably had their reasons
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| Twin: So I guess that means
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| You’re a pretty easy-going guy, 'cause I thought you might
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| You know, be angry, or maybe even cry
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| Baba: Well, maybe when I see you I might need to dry
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| An eye but for now I’m just completely surprised
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| And curious as hell, I mean, what’s the deal? |
| What do you do, do you have kids, do you take care of yourself?
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| Are you married? |
| I mean, this is very surreal
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| Have you ever read about «twin studies»?
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| It’s, like, the only way we can tell
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| Which elements of the personalities we develop
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| Can be called the result of the environmental field
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| Compared to the part that’s beem genetically built
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| Twin: Yeah, I’m not so into science, but my job is
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| That I teach creative writing at a community college
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| And yeah, I have a little girl, and a beautiful wife
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| We’ve been married since 2005
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| Baba: Creative writing?
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| When you were a kid did your adopted parents
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| Read to you at night
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| Twin: No, they weren’t really «book people», why?
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| Baba: Oh, it’s just that my dad always likes to take credit
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| For my success as a rapper, 'cause he read to me as an infant
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| But I always wondered whether my language instincts were genetic
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| And this is evidence
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| Twin: I really pictured this
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| Reunion as having a bit more emotional resonance
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| Baba: Yeah, well, you’re not exactly pouring on the expressiveness |
| Yourself
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| Twin: I know, I’ve never seen the necessity
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| My wife tells me it’s an «emotional repression» thing
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| But I’m not unaffectionate, it just seems excessive to me
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| Baba: Yeah, that could be a description of me
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| Twin: Okay, if we’re questioning
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| What about you, wife, girlfriend?
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| Baba: No, I’m not really a relationship type of person
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| I mean, it’s not like an aversion, it’s just that I’m always on tour and
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| It’s tough to imagine how to even try to work it in
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| Twin: But rapping, you must get some attention from women
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| Baba: Attention, sure, but I’m not indiscriminate
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| I mostly tour colleges campuses, you can picture it
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| In town for one night, most women just aren’t into it
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| I mean, there’s been an occasional grad student incident
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| Twin: My wife is a grad student
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| Baba: Yeah, well, I’m envious
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| I wish I could have that kind of connection, intimate
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| My lifestyle could hardly be more itinerant
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| Twin: You came to my college, in 2006, you rapped
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| The Canterbury Tales for the medieval English class
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| Baba: What? |
| Why didn’t you contact me? |
| Twin: Because I didn’t know
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| I only tracked you two years ago, remember?
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| Plus I was on sabbatical, me and my wife, we had this whole…
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| That time was stressful
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| Baba: Oh, sorry bro
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| Twin: Look, it’s not your fault, it’s just that
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| I turned into this guy, this safe provider type
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| And I panicked, and I left my wife, and I moved to the other side
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| Of the planet, to Europe, but it just didn’t fit me
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| I was just an anonymous writer in a big city
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| And I wasn’t confident with women so I lasted six weeks
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| Baba: And your wife took you back, huh?
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| Twin: Yup, I guess that’s love
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| And then nine months later along came little Rebecca
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| Baba: Nine months later?
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| Twin: Yeah, give or take
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| It’s funny how our lives have developed in different ways
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| I mean, I envy your lifestyle — it looks pretty flat-out
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| I decided to contact you when I saw you on Rachel Maddow
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| Baba: Yeah, she’s fantastic… so you and your wife
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| You’ve been happy since your little European crisis?
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| Twin: Yeah, she’s a good mother, I’m lucky to have her
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| Baba: And you’re never tempted to, you know, stray from the pasture? |
| up with one of your students maybe, I don’t know
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| Do something crazy?
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| Twin: Yeah, I’m tempted, occasionally
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| But it’s a two-way street, right? |
| I mean, basically
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| How can I trust her if she can’t trust me?
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| Baba: And you trust her?
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| Twin: Yes, now, but I’ve had some jealous times
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| I mean, when Rebecca was like two and half
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| I took her to the clinic and I got a check-up and I
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| Asked the doctor to give her a paternity test on the side
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| Baba: Really, why? |
| Does she have like an «ethnic vibe»?
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| Twin: No, she looks like me, she’s freckled and white
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| She was just born a bit quickly after that difficult time
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| And I didn’t wanna be suspicious, but I…
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| Baba: And the verdict?
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| Twin: The doctor said she’s definitely mine
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| One hundred percent DNA test certified
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| Baba: Oh, that’s great then, I’d love to meet your kid
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| Twin: And my wife…
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| Baba: Yeah, I was gonna say that next
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| Okay, look, I have to go, there’s this thing for the Fringe
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| I’m writing this play about…
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| Twin: Yeah, Human Nature, yes
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| I’ve been tracking you through your Facebook friends |
| I’ll be interested to hear what you have to say about twins
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| Baba: Yeah, well, as soon as I can, I’ll come visit you
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| Twin: Okay, Baba, just call me when you’re ready to |