| One day while he was waiting for the trolley, he had a hat
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| My high silk hat
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| He wore it high upon his head so proudly, a beautiful hat
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| My high silk hat
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| A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly
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| Now fancy this and fancy that
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| The splendor of his hat in all it’s majesty
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| Like a king in a royal cap
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| I feel so swell and handsome in my hat
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| I bet that others wish they had in fact
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| A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so fine, a high silk hat
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| Oh Mr. Art Bigotti, now what do you think of that?
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| Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly
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| I must in fact share more than that
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| For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly
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| Of chocolate this and chocolate that
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| Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy
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| A chocolate bliss, a chocolate snack
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| Confections such as these are more than candy
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| Somewhat like life, a box of that
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| I have my chocolate placed upon my lap
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| I feel so good, you just cannot top that
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| I have my snack, a chocolate pack, of chocolate this and chocolate that
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| Oh golly Mr Nezzer, now what do you think of that? |
| Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter
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| Upon his hat and his chocolate snack
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| So beneath his hat he thought and pondered
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| What should I do to save my hat?
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| He thought and contemplated as he perspired
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| Beneath his hat, upon his lap
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| He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire
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| Into a pool a chocolate vat
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| I won’t feel grand if I take off my hat
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| The sun’s getting hot and my hat just might go flat
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| My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets will melt like that
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| Oh, hurry Mr Trolley before my dapperness goes flat
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| He decided to fore go his looks so dashing
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| To save his hat and little snack
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| So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him
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| And put his hat on top of that
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| Oh please! |
| Oh please, oh please!
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| Don’t anybody sit close to me, upon my hat
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| I ask, if all of you could be so kindly
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| And just stand back, away from my snack
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| A great big squash just sat upon my hat
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| A great big squash just squished my hat real flat
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| He squashed my hat, he made it flat
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| He squished my snack, oh what of that?
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| Oh tell me anybody, now what do you think of that? |
| A great big squash just sat upon his hat
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| A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat
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| He squashed his hat, he made it flat
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| He squished his snack, oh what of that?
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| Oh golly, uh, what’s your name?
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| They’ve never given me a name
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| I have been around since show one and I still don’t have a name
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| Now what do you think of that? |