Lyrics God Hates The Tips - Trevor Moore

God Hates The Tips

God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks
God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks
So if your kid’s a male
Even though he’ll scream and yell
You gotta cut it off or their little souls will burn in hell
Well way back in the beginning
God was making men and women
And the fish of the sea and the birds of song
He announced he made perfection
But on closer inspection he noticed that he left one piece a bit too long
God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks
God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks
So if your kid’s a male
Even though he’ll scream and yell
You gotta cut it off or their little souls will burn in hell
God gathered people’s leaders
Said start snipping baby’s wieners
This will be a sign of our love and covenant (Covenant!)
A few then went and raised objections
Saying they didn’t see the connection
But he said «I'm God so none of this needs to make sense.»
He told us «go cut 'em with the scalpel!
Go cut 'em with the scissors!
Or go and perform a metzitzah b’peh!»
And that’s where the Rabbi sucks the blood
Out the baby’s penis with his mouth
I swear to God that’s a real thing go and Google it
Now today across the land
People still keep his commands
And children learn their first lesson right after birth (after birth!)
The ones who are supposed to protect them
Hold them down and painfully correct them
Then they smile and say «welcome to life on earth.»
God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks
God hates the tips of little baby’s dicks
So take a little off the top
Because that’s what God instructs
Unless it’s not, and some ancient pervs just made it up
Unless it’s not, and some ancient pervs just made it up