Lyrics Pets - The Cool Greenhouse

Pets

Well pets don’t care about your new haircut
And a pet doesn’t give a crap about your recent hernia operation
But I think it might be important to have a pet
But then again y’know it’s hard to move around with a pet
And pets don’t know about the geopolitical situation
Well this can be comforting, but it can also be distracting
And a pet requires care and costs money
But you can probably afford one, especially if you give up smoking
Oh, pets
I’m thinking all about pets
I think it’d improve my life if I got a pet
Yeah, pets
And pets ensure that you leave the house
'Cause they need walking
But this can also get annoying
And what if you buy your pet when it’s very small
And then it grows up not to like you as a person
Well pets can get you rather obsessed
Sometimes you can’t see when your pet is doing wrong
Because you love your pet so much
Well pets are a kind of animal
But can a plant be a pet?
No
Pets
I’m thinking all about pets
I think it might improve my life if I got a pet
And what’s better, to have a partner or to have a pet?
I dunno
Well try not to run over your pet
And don’t keep your pet in a plastic bag
Unless your pet is a carton of milk
An ant and a twig don’t make a very good pets
Because they’re easy to lose
And watch out for hippies
Y’know they keep rocks as pets
And one good thing about a pet is that you can teach it tricks
Well even when it’s old
Y’know that’s a common misconception
But pets can’t play the guitar and aren’t very useful
But apparently Phil Collins keeps a worm that knows how to drum
And I hear that Patti Smith’s favourite pet is an earring
And unfortunately a pet can’t sit next to you on a plane
But someone should really set up an airline in which they can
Don’t you think?
And if you need to take your pet on a plane
Well if it’s a pigeon you can keep it down your trousers
Or if it’s a tortoise you can disguise it as a hamburger
Or disguise it as a codpiece
Oh, pets
I’m thinking all about pets
I think it’d improve my life if I got a pet
Yeah pets
And this bit’s for the kids
You know a cat goes woof
And a dog goes miaow
And a little mouse goes cocka-doodle-doo
And a Pokémon card goes nothing
And an oyster goes *click*
And a little rabbit goes sniff sniff sniff
And a carton of milk goes nothing again
And something goes something
And nothing goes
And a periodontal scalpel goes *slurp, pop*
And your mother goes «stop»
And your dad goes «carry on»
Two, three, four, pets
Yes I’m thinking all about pets
I think it’s improve my life if I got a pet
Well what’s better, to have a partner or to have a pet?
I dunno