Lyrics Crap Art - The Cool Greenhouse

Crap Art

Well I like my sums to be hard
And I like my sculptures to be made of lard
And I like my crosswords to be done in advance
And I like my rhymes to be crap
And I like my paintings to be quarter-arsed
And I like my music to be falling apart
And I like my newspapers to be turned into masks
And I like my rhymes to be crap
And repetitive
Well thank God for crap art
Yes thank your God for crap art
Well at least it’s a start
Yes thank your God for crap art
And I like my liquids to be fluid
And I like my singles to be long
Well that’s good value for money
And I like my bands to be one
And I like my angles to be obtuse
Or acute, I don’t mind
And I like my sevens to be sevens
One after six
And I like my pavements to be strewn with broken bricks
Well thank God for crap art
Yes thank your God for crap art
Well at least it’s a start
Yes thank your God for crap art
And I’m not talking about David Shrigley here
Y’know he’s really good… good for coffee shops
I’m more talking about a pigeon that gets trapped in a conservatory
With a load of house paints
And then it can’t escape
So go to your crap church
And pray to your crap God
And thank your God for crap art
Well at least it’s a start
And I said to God I said «Hey God!»
He said «Yes, Tom?»
«Well what do you think about my position here?»
He said «Well I like my art to be good.
I like the Sistine chapel.
But I can see your angle»
I said «Thanks God, y’know you always were so understanding»
And remember making art is really hard
Don’t do yourself down
It’s OK to make crap
In fact it’s refreshing
'Cause a monkey can use Photoshop
Oh and a child can use Final Cut Pro X
To make everything feel the same
And the other day a big corporation approached me
And they asked if they could co-opt my crap art
'Cause they mistakenly thought they saw a kind of misguided authenticity in it
That they would want to co-opt
This was three point four seconds after I posted it on the internet
I thought they had the wrong idea
But I said yes
And now I live in a mansion
It costs too much to keep warm
And I’m still paying off my advance
Behold my cold mansion!
Behold my crap mansion!
Well thank God for crap art
Yes thank your God for crap art
Well at least it’s a start
Yes thank your God for crap art
The crapper the better
And you better thank your God
For crap art
Y’know it’s the best start
And you better thank your God
Amen