| But how do they get the dead to write rhymes?
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| Song after song on the radio I hear
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| Is by a guy who died, in the yesteryear
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| But it’s the best I hear of all the crap on the air
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| It’s pretty sad when you compare it to those still breathin the air
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| I’ve been lookin for a deal since I wrote my first song
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| Now I finally realized what I’ve been doin wrong
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| It’s not my cheesy beats or that my lyrics aren’t strong
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| It’s just the simple fact that I’ve been living too long!
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| Dead rappers got records flying off the shelf
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| So I might get a deal if I kill myself
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| That would pretty much guarantee more airplay
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| But I don’t think that I’d be able to enjoy the extra pay
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| It blows me away what the dead are achieving
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| Silly me thought it’d be tough to rap without breathing
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| Don’t ya know being dead seems to be the way to go
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| Look there’s another dead rapper on the radio
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| Livin or not I gotta give 'em their props
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| They’ve been dead for years, but the rhymin don’t stop
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| They’ll be back, doesn’t matter what the death report is
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| Throwin down and bein hard is now due to rigor mortis
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| That rapper died late last fall, he’s still rotting in the hall
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| But now he’s got gold records on the wall
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| It’s the +Dawn of the Dead+, and the dead can rap
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| Still gettin paid while taking a dirt nap
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| In the store you hear the beats cranked high
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| You look the clerk in the eye and say, «Didn't that guy die?»
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| But their careers go on even though they’re long gone
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| There’s a signing next week out on Forest Lawn
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| Dead rappers got records on top of the charts
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| And all I got is a degree in liberal arts
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| That means that before I could ever be adored
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| I’d have to be full of formaldahyde and stiff as a board
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| I just can’t believe what the dead are achieving
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| Like a rude houseguest who’s just not leaving
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| It’s another bonus for the record label CEO
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| Look — there’s another dead rapper on the radio!
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| «He be passed on! |
| He has ceased to be!
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| Homeboy has expired and gone to meet his maker!
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| This is a late rapper! |
| They be stiff!
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| Bereft of life, O.G.s rest in peace!
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| Out! |
| Metabolical processes are of interest only to historians!
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| My man has hopped the twig!
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| Mofo has shuffled off this mortal coil!
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| Running upside the curtain and joined the choir invisible!
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| In short, this… is an EX-RAPPER!»
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| Scott LaRock has been dead for like fifteen years
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| So he’ll probably do a video with Britney Spears
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| Every year we hear the news, there goes another one
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| Lined up on Death Row (Waffles: Now that’s a +Big Pun+)
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| Big L, Biggie Smalls, all the big rappers get death’s glance
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| So Buffy didn’t stand a chance
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| And the record labels won’t leave well enough alone
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| Cause you can’t collect royalties on a tombstone
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| I got some advice for the folks who hate Eminem
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| Don’t kill him, cause then you’ll never get rid of him
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| They’ll put out best, worst, and unreleased rhymes
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| Guest vocals and home videos until the end of time
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| Dead rappers got records flying off the shelf
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| So here’s a toast to Jay-Z's health
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| And to Puff Daddy, uh, P-Diddy or whatever
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| Live long and prosper, hell, live forever!
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| Cause once they’re dead, we won’t ever be free
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| No R.I.P. |
| for R.A.P
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| Don’t ya know being dead seems to be the way to go
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| Look — there’s another dead rapper on the radio
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| Yo, dawg, that rapper’s only mostly dead
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| There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead
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| Mostly dead is slightly alive
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| Well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do
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| (What's what, yo?)
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| Go through his clothes and look for the bling bling! |