| Kyle XY: Well Hello and welcome to the underground…
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| All: SSSHHHHH!
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| Kyle XY: Sorry, Sorry. |
| Hello and welcome to the underground, this is Darth Kyle,
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| my new name is Kyle XY because that’s the program I miss most, in this brand
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| new zombie apocalypse
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| All: May the Force be with you
|
| Kyle XY: We’ve been living 3 months basically on our wits, we’re running out of
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| food, we’ve begun to hunt but animals have become scarce. |
| It may be time to
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| move to the forbidden lands
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| All: May the force be with you
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| Kyle XY: We’re gonna go around in a circle and just say our name and say how
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| the zombie apocalypse has affected us and what summer movie we are looking
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| forward to the most
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| All: May the force be with you
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| 1st Mimsy: Hey, um, I was uh, formerly «IG89», and then I was «Sawyer's Gun
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| Stash» and now I am «The First Mimsy.» |
| And… (May the force be with you,
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| SSSHHHH, OK, Go ahead) Ok, it’s been rough, I’ve got to admit it’s been pretty
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| hard. |
| My Mother, god rest her soul, was eaten by zombies. |
| My brother was eaten
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| by zombies. |
| My father was eaten by zombies, they’re still living at the house
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| and I have not been able to get my Legend of the Overfiend DVDs out of my room.
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| Now, I ordered that on Amazon and it cost me $ 175, I haven’t been able to
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| masturbate to it and its been something I’ve been wanting to masturbate to
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| since I was 16 and I first saw it, I’m pissed
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| All: May the force be with you
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| MC Chris: Thats tough
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| Resident Stevil: Wait, Legend of the Overfiend?
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| 1st Mimsy: Legend of the Overfiend
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| Resident Stevil: Just get La Blue Girl, La Blue Girl’s better
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| 1st Mimsy: I don’t care, I’d rather wath the thing that I ordered
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| All: May the force be with you
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| Mr Shark: I am Jimmie, airquotes, «the Zombie» Stewart. |
| My new name is «Mr Shark.» |
| (May the force be with you, May the the force be with me)
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| Kyle XY: SSSHHH, You seriously have to lower your voice, we’re gonna die if
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| they hear you
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| MR Shark: I don’t… stipulate, I’m stipulating I want to call this the alleged
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| zombie apocalypse. |
| I still don’t think that zombies exist. |
| Ah, it’s impossible,
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| it’s against the laws of all logic and science (argument breaks out in a
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| whisper, 'we see them everyday') You see zombies like you see the 2 women
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| looking at each other, whereas it’s really just a picture of a vase,
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| and no zombies. |
| (I know what your talking about) And I’m looking forward to
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| the new Indiana Jones movie to verify my latest correct theory that the crystal
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| skull of Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull was in fact, the skull of Jar Jar
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| Binks, the Gungan from the movie Battlestar Galactica. |
| (May the force be with
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| you, argument breaks out 'that was Phantom Menace')
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| Resident Stevil: I’m formerly Jackie the Hut, and Roland of Cilliad (May the
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| Force be with you). |
| My new nickname is «Resident Stevil.» |
| (May the force be
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| with you) I think this has been hard on all of us, the hardest thing was going
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| back to my home to try to get supplies and finding my goddamn lying,
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| cheating wife and her fuck buddy, and they were both zombies, but they were
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| still fucking wailing on each other, they were just 69ing, in my bed, my 1,
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| 600 dollar…(thats an expensive bed) sleep piece. |
| (Tempurpedic?
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| ) Tempurpedic, nice bed. |
| Fucking whore, fucking zombie shit juice all over,
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| fucking disgusting. |
| I got to really tear them apart with the lawn mower.
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| (May the Force be with you, alleged zombie, alleged zombie, yes) And I’m
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| really looking forward to the Mummy 3, even though I thought the first 2 movies
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| and Scorpion King were both the fucking worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life
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| Darth of the Dead: You guys might know me as «Darth Chh Chha Dootico» or «Darth Chh Chaa Gracie.» |
| Now I’m known as «Darth of the Dead.» |
| (May the force be
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| with you, SSSHHHH!) The apocalypse has been very hard on me, I spent the first
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| 3 weeks of the apocalypse by myself trapped inside of a shopping mall,
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| specifically the back room of a Spencer’s Gifts. |
| All I was able to subsist on
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| was edible underwear but I did find out, if you guys ever heard of,
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| zombies do not like fart spray, it wards them off. |
| (thoughtful murmurs) I have |
| to say that I’m very excited about the Dark Knight movie. |
| I’m hoping that if
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| any good comes out of this zombie apocalypse, hopefully Heath Ledger might rise
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| from his grave and reprise his role as the Joker in future Batman movies.
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| (Too soon!) Too Soon? |
| May the force be with you
|
| When in Romero: My name was «Greedo 1977,» and then it was «Basement Safe,»
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| and now its «When in Romero.» |
| (May the force be with you. can you lower your
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| voice, lower your voice they’ll kill us!) I was very…
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| MC Chris: Hey I hear you guys up there!
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| (SSSSHHHHH!)
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| MC Chris: Hey, hey you guys!
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| (whispering, Chris? MC Chris? He looks like a zombie! A zombie!)
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| MC Chris: Throw down a rope ladder, let me climb up there, I wanna eat your
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| brains!
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| ('You got blood coming out of your eyes!' 'you want to eat our brains?' 'Yeah!
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| Please!' |
| 'then no, why would we let you do that?', 'that's ridiculous',
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| 'thats a really fucked thing to ask us to do')
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| MC Chris: Guys, just throw down the rope ladder, let me come on up there,
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| sounds like your having fun
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| (murmuring 'abso- no way, its ridiculous you even ask us to do it,
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| why would we even do that, it makes no sense')
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| MC Chris: Just let me have some of your sodas, some of your beans.
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| Oh and I wanna eat your head, I can’t…
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| (Oh, now there you go, now we’re not gonna let you up)
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| MC Chris: I don’t know, pretense, I’m no good with it. |
| I just wanna get up there
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| (We were close to letting you up but we’re not letting you up cuz you’re gonna
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| eat our brains.)
|
| (Look, What do you think Ironman is gonna be like, you think its gonna be ok?
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| discussion breaks out)
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| MC Chris: Well, I’m pretty excited about it because Samuel L. Jackson is gonna
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| play Nick Fury in both Incredible Hulk and the Ironman movie which kind of
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| opens up a, just a pandoras box of what could be in the Marvel universe
|
| (You know what forget this, ok, this isn’t even worth having a conversation
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| about, I got some Salvia, lets smoke up some Salvia gang. |
| Smoking sounds,
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| 'whhooa! |
| You don’t even know!) |