| Last night I dreamed that I won a Grammy
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| It was presented to me by Debbie Harry
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| I ran up on stage in my tux
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| I gulped and said, «Aw, shucks»
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| I’d like to thank my producer and Jesus Christ
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| The audience gave me a standing ovation
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| I shed tears of joy, I shed tears of elation
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| Behind the podium there Debbie grabbed my derrière
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| I like to thank my producer and Jesus Christ
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| I took my Grammy and Debby and walked offstage
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| We made the cover of Cashbox and the Random Notes page
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| In the weeks that followed things went fine for me:
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| An Oscar, a Tony, and an Emmy
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| Bo Derek and Barbara Mandrell
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| A Pulitzer and a Nobel
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| Meryl Streep and Tammy Terell
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| Five gold and one bronze as well
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| Joan Rivers and Lana Cantrell
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| I’d like to thank my producer and Jesus Christ |