| In the year 2000 my age was 53
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| Born in the first half of the last century
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| I always was post-modern but that’s ancient history
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| Now I’m the last man on Earth
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| That’s what the matter is with me
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| I guess I’m old fashioned, retro to a degree
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| You could say I’m a throw-back, anachronistically
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| Air conditioning is here to stay
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| And that makes me unhappy
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| 'Cause I’m the last man on Earth
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| That’s what the matter is with me
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| I don’t have a portfolio, I gotta plead guilty
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| The best things are the worthless now
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| That’s just because they’re free
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| And if your not a millionaire yet
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| Boy, you better be
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| Now, I’m the last man on Earth
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| That’s what the matter is with me
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| I should be optimistic
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| And go buy some bonds and stocks
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| They’ll find a cure for cancer soon
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| We may get trigger-locks
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| Existence is no picnic as statistics all have shown
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| We learn to live together and then we die alone
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| Everybody’s got a website but that’s all Greek to me
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| I don’t own a computer, I hate that letter «E»
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| I don’t pack a cell phone or drive an SUV
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| Yes, I’m the last man on Earth
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| That’s what the matter is with me
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| I’m the last man standing
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| Save the last dance for me
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| I’ve taken the last train to Clarksville
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| I’m the fifth monkey
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| Nice guys always finish last
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| No one’s nicer than me
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| Yeah, I’m the last man on Earth
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| That’s what the matter is with me
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| Kid’s used to say their prayers at night
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| Before they went to bed
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| St. John told us that God is love
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| Nietzsche said he was dead
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| This thing we call existence
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| Who knows what it all means?
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| Time and Life and People
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| Are just glossy magazines
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| I sat and watched those guys
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| Debate each other on TV
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| Politicians, wrestlers
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| They’re all the same to me
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| Hey, I don’t give a damn
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| Which idiot runs this country
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| Since I’m the last man on Earth
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| It don’t matter to me
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| In the year 2000, my age was 53
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| I know that I’m grumpy, middle-aged crazy
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| But if you are a woman
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| You might have to sleep with me
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| Since I’m the last man on Earth
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| And I can guarantee
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| I’m the last man on Earth
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| And there ain’t nothing wrong with me |