| Well it stumbles and it falls off of almost every tongue
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| Give a listen and you’ll hear
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| It’s workin' like a landmine in almost every sentence
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| It’s an assault to my mind’s ear
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| Yeah it might have started back with Jack Kerouac
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| Probably more than likely it was Maynard G. Krebs
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| It’s the 4 letter word that used to mean 'as if'
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| And the meaning’s covered in cobwebs
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| Cobwebs
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| Used to be a preposition then it was a conjunction
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| Now it’s used as an audible pause
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| Oh I hate it when I hear it especially when I see it
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| Gotta stamp it out there ought to be some laws
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| College boys valley girls mall rats grandmammas
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| Everybody’s mis-usin' that word
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| I heard it four times in one poor little sentence
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| It was the saddest sound I ever have heard
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| Cobwebs x3
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| I suppose you could blame it on my generation
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| Chickens from the 60s finally comin' into roost
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| I’ve been sayin' it myself for over 30 years now
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| Just to give my cool quota just a little bitty kind of a boost
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| But when I hear it
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| I can’t stand it
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| Especially coming out of the mouths of one of my own kids
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| It’s been taught and, God
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| What have we wrought?
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| Give a listen here, what do we dig?
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| I prefer ah or er
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| You can rest assured
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| If you’re sayin' what you mean then it don’t mean a thing
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| It’s just an ugly little 4 letter word
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| Doesn’t anybody care or am I the only one?
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| Am I just stuck back in some kind of a past?
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| Maybe it’s harmless but it feels like a virus
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| And it sounds like it’s catchin' on fast
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| Cobwebs x2 |