Translation of the song lyrics Ako Odem - Jantar

Ako Odem (original)

Idem, i mislim da ja trebam
Fakat spreman, makar znam da neće biti laka zemlja
Svaka zvijezda gubi sjaj, al' ja nisam takva jedna
Sjaj ja nemam, nit ga neću imati za sva vremena
Dišem jedva, čujem korak, stiže sjena
Vičem «Šteta, ne sad.»
jer ja ponovo osjećam
Gotovo niš' ne ostavljam, sve je odnio mi vjetar
Ako odem sada tol’ko mlad ostat će samo pjesma
Sve što jesam, dajem k’o poklon svima
Sitna duša dijeli velikodušno sad tol’ko rima
Sa emocijama utkanim u njima, «Ne pitaj.»
Znaš mene, to je jedina stvar koju ja skrivam
Snimam suze, sa puno boli i gnjeva
Te se ne daju obrisat', toga sam davno svjestan
Moram ja zato prestat', pa odšetat' u beskraj
I prekinut popunjavat' svoj dnevnik tu kod Andreja
Skidam jedra, nek' me sad vodi more
I šteta da tonem dolje jer sam ja bolji čovjek
Čujem da zvoni opet i ljudi koji me vole
Drže me za ruke, ne žele da Jan im ode
Utonem u san i zažmirim skroz naglo
Suze žene doživljavam kao kišu, ton maglom
Gase aparate, al' ja se borim svom snagom
Možda mi je stalo, možda ostanem još malo
Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje
Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?
Hmmm, i da l' ću ja falit' kome?
Bilo bi čudno jer nisam ni bio čovjek
Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje
Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?
Čuješ me sad al' sjeti me se opet
Jan Miklaužić, 23.1.
'88
Ako odem mlad, ne bi ja bio prvi
Nema brojke mrtvih, mlade prolivene krvi
Al' svejedno me je strah makar drugačije tvrdim
Tražim načine da nekak' izbjegnem te harfe smrti
Gle sranje trpim manje imam snage
Al' obitelj je ona zbog koje ja gibam naprijed
Znaš me, cijeli svoj život ja tražim zalet
A kad je vrijeme za let treba mi Pampers
Ako me ikad zaborave, ma neka
Ako već dođe do toga, bila bi moja greška
Jer jedva prepoznam i sebe sad kad repam
'Ko želi zapamtiti takvu lošu sliku dečka?
Smiješak stavim i napišem zadnja slova
Zatim Boga molim kada odem da me vrati doma
U obliku sjećanja ili u obliku snova
Neka uzme 10 grama, duša mi ne vrijedi pola
Ak' odem odmah i otiđem kao klinac
Vjeruj nije kako želim, al' to je jedini izlaz
Mama idi u sobu, nađi sva njezina pisma
Zatim ih baci uz ruže, želim bit zakopan s njima
Hvala svima i stvarno vas volim jako
Pa zato ja molim stalno da vas razdvojim s tamom
Gase aparate, al' ja se borim svom snagom
Možda mi je stalo, možda ostanem još malo
Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje
Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?
Hmmm, i da l' ću ja falit' kome?
Bilo bi čudno jer nisam ni bio čovjek
Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje
Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?
Čuješ me sad al' sjeti me se opet
Jan Miklaužić, 23.1.
'88
— «Reci ti meni, a di, di si ti doma?
Di si ti doma?»
— «U Ivancu.»
— «U Ivancu?
A kako se ti zoveš?»
— - «Još, reci glasno, ne čujem te.»
— «Kristijan «- «Sram te bilo» — «Zašto to govoriš?
Ajde kuš.»

(translation)

I'm going, and I think I should
But ready, even though I know it won't be an easy country
Every star loses its shine, but I'm not one of those
I don't have shine, nor will I have it forever
I can hardly breathe, I hear a step, a shadow arrives
I shout «Too bad, not now».
because I feel again
I leave almost nothing, everything was taken away by the wind
If I leave now so young, only a song will remain
Everything that I am, I give as a gift to everyone
A small soul generously shares so many rhymes
With emotions woven into them, "Don't ask."
You know me, that's the only thing I hide
I record tears, with a lot of pain and anger
These can't be erased, I've been aware of that for a long time
That's why I have to stop, then walk off into infinity
I stopped filling in my diary there at Andrej's
I take off the sails, let the sea guide me now
And it's a shame I'm sinking because I'm a better man
I hear it ringing again and the people who love me
They hold my hands, they don't want Jan to leave them
I fall asleep and close my eyes very suddenly
I see women's tears as rain, tone with fog
They turn off the appliances, but I fight with all my might
Maybe I care, maybe I'll stay a little longer
Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will
But who will remember me if I leave now?
Hmmm, and will I miss anyone?
It would be weird because I wasn't even human
Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will
But who will remember me if I leave now?
You hear me now, but remember me again
Jan Miklažić, 23.1.
in '88
If I leave young, I wouldn't be the first
There is no number of dead, young blood spilled
But I'm still scared, even if I say otherwise
I'm looking for ways to somehow avoid those harps of death
Look at the shit, I'm suffering, I have less strength
Al' family is what keeps me moving forward
You know me, all my life I've been looking for a fling
And when it's time to fly I need Pampers
If they ever forget me, so be it
If it already comes to that, it would be my fault
Because I hardly recognize myself now when I rap
'Who wants to remember such a bad picture of a boyfriend?
I put on a smile and write the last letters
Then I ask God when I leave to bring me back home
In the form of memories or in the form of dreams
Let him take 10 grams, my soul is not worth half
If I leave now and leave like a kid
Believe me, it's not what I want, but it's the only way out
Mom go to the room, find all her letters
Then throw them with the roses, I want to be buried with them
Thank you all and I really love you very much
So that's why I keep asking to separate you from the darkness
They turn off the appliances, but I fight with all my might
Maybe I care, maybe I'll stay a little longer
Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will
But who will remember me if I leave now?
Hmmm, and will I miss anyone?
It would be weird because I wasn't even human
Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will
But who will remember me if I leave now?
You hear me now, but remember me again
Jan Miklažić, 23.1.
in '88
— "Tell me, what's up, where are you at home?"
Where are you at home?"
— "In Ivanac."
— «In Ivanac?
And what is your name?"
— - "Still, say it loudly, I can't hear you."
— «Christian «- «Shame on you» - «Why are you saying that?
Come on, try it."